Being Myself

June 15, 2017
By , Clarkston, MI

Over the years, my family has taught me many lessons. It starts off with an action, which leads to a learning experience. There are many things that one can learn from their parents and one of them is learning how to be treated. My dad once said to me, “Don’t ever let anyone stop you from the way you think or change the way you are.” It was after this one girl had hurt me to the core, using rather offensive words. That was the first and last time I cried over someone being mean to me. I guess lessons grow on you, and at the same time they force you to mature.

There are times for being strong and knowing how to let go of all the emotions held up inside. You usually never know when that time comes, but when it does you know exactly what to do. Let it all out. It is a part of everyday life for anyone. Anyway, it was around the spring of fourth grade, and the year had already been awful. My friends weren’t in the same class as I was, my teacher was really bad and she didn’t seem to like kids my age-even if she had been teaching that grade for many years now. The only exciting thing that had happened that year was my decision to cut all my hair leaving it up to my shoulders, (which seemed like a good idea at the time) and my class being chosen to use the brand new fourth generation IPods as teaching devices. Having little to no friends in that class, I now needed to make more. I was determined to find my new friend, one that would understand and listen, who I could hang out with during class. There was this very nice girl, at first, who was really popular and very pretty. The tan skin, lots of curly waves, and the sharp features every girl wants. And she wanted to be my friend, that was a bonus. Throughout the school year, we became the best friends. We talked about school, we gossiped about the other populars, always laughing with jokes. When it was time to go outside, we would sit on a hill and talk the half hour. She was the girl I trusted, yet this girl was somewhat brutal, she was very tough on the outside and inside. Like no words could push her down. Or something like that. She wasn’t a very good friend lets say, makes me kinda sad how a girl could be this rude. At some points of our friendship I even began to pity her. Although she was my only friend, I was also hers. Or one that didn’t talk bad about her behind her back. She was the typical popular girl that everyone feared. But I still stayed her friend because I knew she was my only one at that point of the school year. Nothing I could do about that, right? Wrong.

This girl, anon, was rude, selfish, and the worst when spring came around. She told me rude things that shouldn’t be repeated, calling me names and even to a point where she would physically push me around. “How about you just go away because no one even liked you anymore,” she would say to me. Yes, it was pretty sad for me. Imagine your only friend being this mean to you. Saying this to you. It was tough to experience. So hard, that at one point I came home and there was just a wave of emotions overcoming. I knew it was time to let it all out. I had this movie, my childhood favorite, one that always cheered me up after a hard time. It was called Princess and the Pauper, a typical favorite for girls who loved barbies. Whenever my parents would see me watching that movie, they knew something was up. There is a part in this movie, where the boy and the girl were preparing a girl to be a fake for the princess. They sing a song that calls for an easy way to remember all the rules. I knew all the words and of course, sang along. At one point the guy sings, “There's a time and place and way for everything.”  As I sang along to these words, I realized that the timing of everything this girl had said was perfect. They were not ideal, yet I could learn from her actions. My place was to know better than what I had, see more people around me. A new way would have to be seen shouldn’t be any reason why I am crying over this one person's words. I felt as if everything was getting better throughout the days without this girl constantly controlling me. I asked myself so many things. How did I ever let myself get to this point? Is this the last time this will happen? I question myself constantly over the years, wondering where I went wrong. I see myself in the next years, struggling to make the correct choices and never learning how to trust someone again. Safe to say, it was tough to come back after this girl faked her friendship to me. I never told my parents or anyone the year after, I guess I wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened. Just leave it something of the past, one that would never come back again.

Weeks went by fast and summer was here. I made new friends as my last year of elementary school came by, and I even met a new group to hang out with. I never saw the girl in fifth grade, many rumors said why. Homeschool, expelled, or some even say she moved. I didn’t really care. I was just afraid that I was to ever see her again. Or that this would happen again.

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