I believe in silence, that it speaks more than words, or even that it could mean more than words. But not too many people really know what this word means or how it could impact someone. I am one to not talk about my feelings or thoughts, so silence was, and still is a big part of my life. I am known for being shy or quiet. Of course my friends and family would disagree, but it is still something I deal with everyday. In fact, one out of every two or three people are considered introverts.
When I was young, I was put into a separate class from everyone else because barely any words would leave my mouth and if my mouth did open it was because I was crying. I was forced to do activities and games just to make friends and maybe grow confidence to talk. This type of silence was uncontrollable because I was just a kid that was afraid. Like a groundhog hiding and being scared of its own shadow and the world around it. So I guess you could say I’ve struggled with it my whole life, well my 16 years of life. But is it really a struggle? Because I don’t talk or say how I feel, it makes me seem like I don’t care or am not putting in any effort to the situation at hand as in relationships, friends, or even family situations.
This year for Track and Field I was given the role of a Captain. It is a job for one to lead the rest with great confidence and determination. It also comes along with encouraging others, inputting ideas and of course being a role model to the other members of the team. This was out of my comfort zone, but when I finally decided to say my thoughts on ways to help the team I was punished. Called “disrespectful, “un captain like”, and was removed from my events. How could this impact someone who finally came out of their shell? Back into hiding and afraid to speak their mind again. So what do I do? I sit there and take the criticism. As if this silence is a type of punishment, as a way to drain us from the excitement that we once had.
I believe in silence, not just in the form of not talking for a few moments at a time, but in the art of listening and observing what is around you and what the world has to offer. In the art of listening to know when you need to talk or just sit in silence for comfort. I believe silence is the only way we accept one another and can cure a human being from the harsh reality of these hurtful words given to us from strangers or the ones we love most. To me it is the satisfaction of being safe in your own mind and not relying on anyone else. I believe in the complete absence of sound and that meaningful silence is worth more than meaningless words that could make or break someone. This I believe.