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If You Don't Succeed

By , Cannon Falls, MN

There’s always that one person that you don’t necessarily dislike, but you would never be the person’s friend. I had one of those people until the seating chart in our math class changed. It seems so insignificant but my whole world shifted that day. Now, I had to sit by that person and actually talk to them. I was so upset but I wouldn’t show it, only talk to my friends about it. When I look back on it now, I regret anything that I had ever said behind her back that was mean. The first few days of the chart was rough. I was getting annoyed every second, but then I remembered something. I was so shy that I would never let people in and had very few friends. That was the day I decided that I would try to become her friend.
   

 I started with just talking to her every chance I could get. After a while, I was still getting nowhere close to being her friend. She would tell me things and I would feel special because she trusted me with them, but then I would see her telling other people too and I didn’t feel special anymore. She hadn’t seemed to trust me yet and I understood why. My other friends weren’t discreet at all and would talk about her right in front of her face where she could hear and I knew that that was why she was wary of being my friend. The girl also had another friend which was her best friend so, I couldn’t try to become her friend because her other friend was very possessive. One day, I stopped my efforts in trying to become the girl’s friend. It had seemed hopeless and there was too much pressure from my other friends who still didn’t know about my attempts.
     

The game changed when I came into math one day and she started spewing words about her now ex best friend. It was a fight over a boy and secretly, I loved it. I could now become her friend without having to deal with godzilla. I knew it was wrong, but when she would ask me what to do with her friend, I would always say, “She has no reason to be mad at you. You shouldn’t be her friend.” The next day, they were friends again and I felt so guilty because of my selfish ways. We had started becoming better friends, but there was still something between that wouldn’t let us become better ones.
     

At that point, I had given up. My friends still talked about her and after a while, I joined in too. It killed me every time but I thought that if I kept bashing her, I would feel better, but I didn’t. I could no longer look her in the eye when she would talk to me because I felt so guilty, as I should. I felt like I could never get to her, and now at math, I would just listen to her talk to me and would never join in. I felt terrible and I couldn’t bring myself to try again. There was finally a breakthrough on one of my friends birthdays. They started talking to each other and afterwards my friend said that the girl wasn’t so bad and that she felt terrible for talking about her. I was overjoyed that I didn’t have to hide my somewhat friendship with her anymore and that we could all be friends.
     

From that moment on, it only got better. The girl had taken my advice and wasn’t friends with the other girl anymore and we started becoming better friends. I knew that she was missing her old friend, but I did as much as I could to be someone she could confide in. Every day, we talk to each other and give each other smiles in our shared classes. It fills me with joy every time we make eye contact because I know that I was now her friend and she could trust me and vice versa. We started planning things together and sharing secrets and I learned from the whole experience that if I started being friends with more people, I would find that people aren’t as bad as I thought they were.






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