Teddy Bears

May 25, 2017
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Sometimes life pulls us in different directions. Sometimes it pulls us so hard we begin to lose sight of the things that matter. Then there are moments life just jerks us around. It grabs us by the throat and rips us so far from reality we can't even see where we began. The past is but a distant memory, and the future is a black hole. Every gaze into the open space produces nothing. Nothing but sorrow. Nothing but darkness. We'll gasp and we'll gravel, pining for something to grab us, to pull us in. To anchor our feet to the earth and never let them go. We want hope, and we want a fill to find that hope. A will that can conjure up the kind of strength we know is necessary to survive.

I'm locked in my own blackhole of emotions. Bound by pessimism and gagged by optimism. Counting down the hours until my heart is ripped from my chest, yet not having the will to utter the words aloud. Maybe as long as the universe can't hear, it can't act.

I bet you didn't know I still sleep with teddy bears; only one in particular. The one you gaveme for my first birthday. The button on his paw is the light against the shadows. The words he says give me hope because I know they'll last forever. Even when your voice is gone, he'll be there to make it better. You're fighting hard, I know you are, but we both see the end. But I'll be okay because my teddy bear will always say "Daddy's your bestfriend".

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