Have you ever had a friend or family ask you for your advice, but they don't like the feedback you give them because the truth hurts their feelings?
I've heard all of my life, “life is pretty tough”, and “the truth can hurt, but it'll make you a better person”. But I guess when you don’t want to believe the truth it's harder. Since I could remember, my mother had told me the truth no matter what, so maybe that's why I don't take the truth so much to heart like others. I have always been the person that didn’t like always telling the truth to others — if i knew it was hurting them in the end. I believe in always being blunt even if it hurts. I eventually came to realize, I don’t like hurting the person that will be there for me when I have my up’s and down’s - my best friend.
I met my best friend during eighth grade band night in 2014. When I said “Hey, My name’s Ashley. What's your name?”
And she replied, “Uhhh hi, my name’s Jennifer.”
I awkwardly told her, “I love your hair; its so cute!”
When I first started playing the clarinet, there were about two Jennifers. We all called them Black Jennifer, and White Jennifer, so it was pretty simple. But since the “White Jennifer” was still in marching band, our first day in band camp together, I made her a nickname, which was “Blondie”. After band camp was over, we started hanging out everyday. I mean we were with each other for a good three weeks straight. And we had conversations about boys, and who we like, and just gossip with one another. She eventually told me she like this guy a lot, and they were about to “talk”, - which is basically finding out about each other before they become boyfriend and girlfriend. At first, I saw how much she loved him and how she cared for him. She would show me their text messages on the bus to football games, and marching band games. I eventually saw how manipulating and rude he was to her. And she didn't even realize it because she was just so deeply in love with him. She obviously couldn’t tell he had been using her for his own pleasure, and if he did try to come and visit her, it would be for his own pleasure. But as her best friend I couldn’t just tell her he only wanted to do sexual activities with her, and nothing else to do with her, she just simply wouldn't believe me.
When I started telling her the truth, she didn’t like to hear it. We used to get into arguments almost every time we hung out. She always said, “Oh no I like him alot and he likes me back, it’s going to work out. Trust me.”
However she never believes me, when I try to give her legitimate advice. It hurts me to tell her every guy she has any interest in her is only looking at her physical appearance and not her personality. As soon as she starts showing her true personality, they leave her. Every guy she has messed with in any kind of way has done her wrong. She didn’t have self love and she thought she wasn't good enough. It breaks my heart when she told me that. I tell her every time, “You might think that, but I don't, and if Jesus didn’t think you could make someone feel as happy as can be, than he wouldn't have created you.”
She eventually gave her whole self to a boy that doesn't want anything to do with her.
The last guy she had talked to at the time, was emotionally unstable towards her. They both said I love you too each other; however, I knew he really didn’t mean what he said. She was very gullible and she believed him every time he said it. I told her time and time again, I knew what he wanted, he never wanted a relationship, he only wanted sex. She enjoyed the sexual relations she had, had with him. Yet, at the end of the day, she still wanted more out of the relationship, and she didn’t realize that he didn’t.
He cheated on her — with his girl best friend.
Her heart was shattered, but her sweet personality, and her heart full of love gave him, another chance. When she gave him that second chance, he did the same thing and used her. When they were texting each other before I forced her to leave him, he texted her and stated,
“You always have another chance with me”. When she told me that I was furious, and I told her,
“You deserve better than him, he's a piece of crap there’s so many people in the world that could treat you so much better. He obviously doesn't care about you, he wants your temple and not your personality and you as a person.” She cried all night and it broke my heart, I would never want my greatest enemy to go through that. I personally know it sucks to go through it and to see my best friend go through it hurts me even more. Teenage boys in our generation don't know what love is, all they want is sex. After all, I had finally opened her eyes to see the truth.
My belief has taught me how to deal with various situations in life. I was always the person that didn’t want to believe the truth and vice versa. I didn’t enjoy telling others the truth if there was a dark side to it. I eventually knew if I did state the truth, it would damage them even more. My belief has also taught me, not everyone likes the truth and that they live in their own world and not in reality. Eventually you will have to believe and listen to the truth. I think that you will be a better, more knowledgeable, more compassionate and most of all a more loving and caring person because of it.