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Small Portraits of a Friendship
“Come as you are”
The Nirvana playing in background. Wrong era. Two souls, lost in London or in themselves.
Was the bravery of 2 am? No cigarettes left. Dancing naked of any fear. Barefoot freedom.
We broke a wall. It was not the one in Berlin. We got lost. But we got lost together.
“Carpe diem: quam minimum credula postero”
We decided to live of illusions in a world of disillusion. We bet on everything that loses. We trusted only not trusting. We went high, remaining at ground level.
We killed the fear of the Future, without fear. We locked up ourselves in a prison of Present. Free, mad, sweet Present. The only which can makes you forget about the bars.
“The way we deal with love”
You fear to crash on the rocks, I throw myself from the cliff.
We both get killed a little more, love after love.
We needed to take bus 61. It didn’t existed. We took the 94 instead.
We arrived there early, but we managed to be late for the show anyway
The one I didn’t know I wanted to see so badly, but not as badly as sitting on a bench with you.
We crashed in each other elliptic orbit without even noticing. Common barycenter? Gravitational force? Who knows. Sometimes the reason why events happen is relative. Cosmic background radiations as only mean of communication. Signs of big bang’s hearts. No fear of our dark matters.
We acted like we were born in the ashes and forged in the fire. Maybe we were. Daughters of a silent war. Tolerating the bargain of a winning strategy. Hiding our many hearts in many places. Purpose of not be found. Not by others, not by us. Forgotten their existence.
“The hate list”
We shared out loud a long list of things we couldn't bare. A paper was not enough to contain the many reasons why two like us are not made for many people. Neither 2 or 3.
We never wrote a love list, but if we did, mine would start like this:
1.Spending my time with you
“Let’s buy a chandelier”
-Do you need one?
-Do you have space for it?
-Can you afford it?
-okay, everything sounds perfect! Let's immediately buy one!
“If only I was your man”
You said to me “If only you were a man”. You paused. “My man”.
I knew, as well as you did, that no one else but me could have loved you just in the way you needed. The mirage of a whispered happiness we will never know. I am not a man. I am not your man.