Toxic Flowers

May 16, 2017

As I walked through the park that lies just behind my home, I spotted a daisy. Not like the ones normally found in a bouquet, but a small one peeking out above the blades of grass. Similar to the way that a skyscraper towers over the city below it. It was a beautiful sight, one that put a grin upon my face. Suddenly I was distracted as my eyes fell upon this infinitesimal beauty. Much so that it redirected my mind from all the grief that drowned it.

After a few moments into the transcendence of a world so pure and free of all other disturbances, I realized that this was no daisy. In fact, it was an imposter. A lawn weed which was in fact invasive and toxic. Its outer beauty had dispelled all negative connotations associated with it. And it was then, that I was reminded of what had previously been circulating in my mind. And it was then, that I came to believe in lawn weeds.

Lawn weeds of my own life. The people whose beauty and lives mislead me into believing that I needed to be a part of, or like them. They masqueraded around with their identities covered by masks. And who was I? I was the soil in which they dug themselves into and eroded.

At first, it was fun as their characteristics entangled themselves into my existence, just as a weed does to the soil that surrounds it. We would adventure and explore new places. A trip down a deserted road led to midnight memories of starry nights and a tender kiss. A dinner date would be a reminder that we both disliked using chopsticks, but found it hysterical when the other would make a mess of the kung pao chicken and sticky rice. But, just like lawn weeds, there are more than just one type.

The other ones in my life would make weekly trips to Dutch with me for the same rebels that had all started to taste the same after months of going. We didn’t care though for the fun was in flirting with the cute new employee in hopes of getting our drinks for free, or talking up the ones we had already become familiar with. The ones who would influence me into sneaking away, or going to a party which I know my parents wouldn’t approve of. The ones that expected me to wait up for them at 11 or 12 o’clock at night so they could come over and cry over a boy I had previously warned them about.

It was a combination of these lawn weeds that started to dig deeper and deeper, to the point where it became difficult to get rid of them. No matter how much strength or power I had to try to pull them out of my lives, a little piece of them was left behind to grow again.

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