I'm Still Searching This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

May 17, 2017

I believe in finding him. "Stay right here, I'll be back around night". I looked up in curiosity. Why must he leave during the day?

one hour goes by.

Then two, three, then four.

I opened my eyes, startled by the sound of three knocks on the door. I looked around, I tried to find him. In the back of the car. Red and blue lights is all I see with my brother right beside me. I stared into my little innocent hand’s then looked up. I glanced left then right, but still couldn’t see him. Bright white room. Rubber duckies scattered across the room, plushy bears, and books surrounding me.

A tall white woman took us away.

Hopefully to take us back to him I thought, there must have been a mistake.

Dark house.

A tall black thick women hooked my arm and threw me in a room. I shreaked in pain. I looked back at my brother in the room across and whispered “goodnight”, looking down helplessly into the burnt carpet realizing my worst fear has crept upon me. At first it started in my stomach, that agony feeling, then to the joints that trembled in fear as it slithered its way to my stone heart, then it cracked. What if he never loved me?
But I refused to plunder into the depths of despair, I marched on.

Dragged from my bunk bed, my neck was grabbed fiercely, my body rippled in pain. "Go outside now, my man is here."

One day turned into two, two into three.

I took in my surroundings, looking eagerly trying to find him but no sign of him. I wondered if I left my footprint in the snow, he would trace it back to me from the street lamp to the backyard tent where I shivered as my bones ached from the frosty winds. I made my way soundlessly, leaving my footprint into the snow. He knows my shoe size, I should be just fine.  Door opens up, my brother and I scattered to our feet. "The white woman is coming, don't say nothing". This must been the fifth inspection. I knew the routine: eye’s down, mouth shut, answer yes ma'am or no ma’am, and only come and speak when spoken to or asked to. It wasn't long until the white woman caught on. The bruises showed, for which I didn't know or recognize until after the fact as we were hauled away in a white car.  I woke to the soft touch of a mother. What is this feeling? Happiness? Love?
Deja Vu.

I looked around, I still couldn't find him. Until I saw them. Who are these strangers treating us as their own?
I knew right then and there that I loved them so.

The papers stated, “it’s official”, I belong to someone else. Ten years later, I still reminisce on the past. I still think about his goofy smile, his way with words that could preach, and enlighten .His soothing tone in the way he says "goodnight" to "Girl stop playing" as we laugh throughout the night, all the way to his very last words, "Stay right here,I’ll be back around night". I still have hope, we all have hope. We are all searching for someone to fill that empty void. I hope in finding him one day because that hope I’m clinging to is all I have left to hold on to.

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