Love Triangles: Possible in Real Life as Well as Entertainment?

May 11, 2017
By , Portishead, United Kingdom

The ‘love triangle’ has been a common topic in media throughout the ages, but to what extent is it actually possible to be in love with two (or more?!) people at once?

From Fitzgerald’s ‘The Great Gatsby’ to Meyer’s ‘Twilight’, everyone is able to think of a love triangle that they have read about or watched on a screen and everyone would probably have to admit that at some point in time, they have been enthralled by such a situation (after all, who wouldn’t want to be the object of two people’s affections?)  while also feeling that the character in the middle of the triangle ought to just grow a pair and make a choice, because it’s not really possible to love two people at once.

But, then again, if you think about it, can’t you love both your parents at the same time? Of course you can. So if it’s possible to love two people in a familial way at the same time, isn’t it possible to love two people in a romantic way at the same time?

Personal experience may tell me ‘yes’.

At one of the more confusing periods of my life (and there are a lot of them), I found myself in a situation similar to a love triangle (although a more accurate description might be ‘a love square’?). 

Firstly it would be useful for the reader to know that I identify as demi-sexual (although at the time I was not aware that there was a word for it).

My love square begins with myself and the boy who, at the time, was (and still is) my boyfriend. And I can say for sure that I loved him (and I still do), as, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been with him. Add to this another boy who was a close friend of mine and my boyfriends. Over time, I had developed some slight feelings for this boy, especially as he and I had interests that my boyfriend didn’t, interests that we could discuss at length without getting bored, and a general friendly (maybe slightly flirtatious) relationship.  I don’t know how this boy felt about me, but I do know that at some point he began to pursue one of my and my boyfriend’s close female friends (in case you hadn’t noticed, we live in an area where everyone knows everyone, and everyone is friends).
This particular girl, had some personality traits that I greatly admired, and some similarities with my boyfriend. They also had a snapstreak… cue jealousy. However, as well as feeling jealous of the friendship she had with my boyfriend I also felt jealous of the interest the other boy showed in her, a melange of platonic love and something more and extreme admiration for the qualities she possessed. Confused? Yeah, I was too.
If I could draw a diagram to help you, I would.

To summarise my boyfriend loved me, and I loved him, but also this other guy who loved this girl who I sorta liked but who I also thought was flirting with my boyfriend, who was a close friend of hers. Teenage drama at its finest.

Perhaps this is why the so-called ‘love triangle’ is such a fascinating subject that just cannot stay away from our screens.

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