The word expectation always made her soul cringe with fear and compelled her senses to go numb. Everytime she heard that specific word, she had goosebumps but not in a good way. She wanted to conceal her body, her soul ,her mind or altogether her entire existence from the sound and the echo of the word. She wanted to run away before the sound of the word reached her ears that gave her such immense pain and feeling of emptiness.
This word was the only nightmare which had been haunting her ever since she understood the infinite depth of hope and responsibilities that it carried under the disguise of simple pronunciation and spellings. She loathes the word with her entire being. It wasn't that she was irresponsible, pessimistic and immature.She was a true believer and loyal devotee of optimistic soul , healing hope and colorful personality. She wasn't scared of responsibilties and the hindrances it would bring that could shatter her dreams and tear her hope scrap by scrap and piece by piece. Neither was she fearful of the consequences of the unselfish decisions she decidedly took for herself or for other's dreams. She loved living in her own little world which she created by her own optimistic soul, her endless love for her family and her responsible and protective nature towards herself and others related to her directly or indirectly. The only problem was that the entry of expectation could break the walls of her little world and turn it into nothing but a piece of useless junk hurting and changing the people she loves and cares about. She knew that expectation had the power to suffocate her hope and mercilessly kill her faith and trust. It was the only word that had the capabilities to compel her to leave the light of her unselfish attitude for the realm of darkness which she detests the most after expectation.
There are always two sides of everything that exists in the universe. For instance, if there is light then there is also darkness which exists but in a concealed manner. Similarly, there are two types of hopes. One that will always manage you to lift you up from the endless failures, you are forcibly thrust upon by differnt circumstances which you can't avoid. It will teach you to trust again,love again and most importantly heal you from the sufferings you were compelled to deal with. And this hope is called as the healing hope.Then there is another kind of hope that will slowly teach you to dream about unrealistic things which makes you feel that even by small efforts and ideas you can be invincible and bring the whole world at your fingertip.It will offer you the drinks of egoistic attitudes and unnecessary pride. It will hold your hand, act as being your only support and drive you from the 'real world' to the world which you have made by the pillars of sacrifice of your loved ones self respect and dreams at the cost of your own identity and honour. Then once after you've traded your personality that you were blessed with for the new one born out of the blindfold trust towards the unrealistic hope, it will plunge you to such infinite depths of sorrow and injustice that even the former hope can't lift you up with.
And expectation is in alliance with the latter one instead of the former that is the healing hope. This is the main reason for her hatred towards the word. She firmly believed that even the utterence of the word would change friends to foes, dreams to nightmares and passion to lethal obsessions.
It wasn't that the word expectation never came face to face with her though she hated it with mad passion. No matter how many times she would want to deny the fact but in her heart and soul ,she unwillingly admitted that expectation always walked side by side with her both in her success and failure too. Her family, her friends, her loved ones always had great expectations with her though they never expressed it in simple words or encouraging beautiful phrases. Their adoration, trust and hope in their eyes screamed the word expectation louder than their voices could have done. They knew about her resentful attitude towards expectation. She believed in freedom with faith and hope as her wings. She would dream of spreading her wings and fly in the blue sky to reach her goals.
"Remember my girl, with great expectations, come great responsibilities"; she heard a woman lovingly tell her daughter who looked more or less like a seven years old . The daughter nodded at her seriously as if she understood the phrase's actual meaning. But in reality, she just did it because she was expected to nod her head and give the expression of "I understand it" to her mother.
And this scenario made her proud and happy at the same time because it gave her one more reason to hate the word expectation again. Expectation always compels a person to limit his or her liberty. It draws a line, a boundary out of which a person's free ideas ,desire to reason and understand succumb. Once it entered, it would snatch all the happiness and instead give a gift of long lists of endless demands making the light of life dim and monotonous. A person can only learn to hope and reason , dream and achieve success if he or she is given a chance to explore his or her potential without any sorts of boundaries and demands. Expectation however always has demands. It demands such tremendous potentials out of a person at once that the person become subjected of fear of failure and unnecessarily beforehand think about the ill consequences it would bring without even trying. The pressure becomes so much all because of expectation that people withdraw from challenges thinking that if they backed off, there would be no pressure, there would be no heads held down in shame and disgust and most importantly think that they would be saved from failure, the word that every person fears in this universe.
With each passing moments , her resolution for hating expectation grew stronger and stronger. everytime she would find a new reason for contempts towards the word. But she had no concept that she was going against her own doctrines and perceptions of viewing the world and its mysterious working processes. Hatred for expectation made her unable to see its brighter side, explore its warm depth and good wishes for a responsible and colorful world. She failed to see the sacrificing and unselfish nature of expectation's other side. It had been the faithful companion of time since its birth , it had been the generous advisor of life and well wisher of the future. If there was no existence of expectation then life wouldn't have been possible since without its humble but continuous demands , the supreme forces of the universe wouldn't have given nature the gift of life.
Expectation had no single complain towards her for the contempt she had towards it. It knew that she was young and still had much to learn and experience from the world. It also noticed that she didn't actually had any sorts of hatred towards it, she was just afraid of failure. She never wanted to see her family, her loved ones and herself end up being hurt and in the world of false hopes and dreams. So, it would just gently smile at her delicate and warm heart and slowly with undemanding eyes hoped that one day she would finally learn to accept and love the other side of it ,' the brighter side of expectation.'