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Everything

By , byron center, MI

Oh my… Here I am, in the last position I ever thought I would be in. I am sharing what has made me who I am. To most of you, you think I’m always smiling and positive. But that’s who I show myself to be, that’s not me. I am a very deep thinker and have anxiety like crazy. The one thing I thought would help me from not having anxiety is what made me like this.
 

Everything to me is scary. You scare me; your actions especially. My anxiety, through the roof. You caused that, you know who you are. I did everything you asked of me, I was a puppy to you. You trained me. You made me who I am. I looked up to at once you were my biggest role model. The day you uncovered your true colors to me, was a horrible day. I sat and sat and thought it was ME how could a person like you do that? But then suddenly it clicked, you aren’t who you told me you were or the person I thought. You hide it… Very well actually. You’re crazy. People always said bad things about you, but I always sat there and shook my head at them and told them they were wrong. I feel like a fool now… Because you are worse than the things they said. I still pray for you, hoping God will help you. 


When I picture myself I see myself as a child with happiness glistening in my eyes, and my smile bigger than your ego. Your ego is what dragged me down along with many others; even including yourself. But I was thankful enough to get away from you, I don’t have you dragging me down anymore.


The mind games you played with me drove me crazy.


I realized happiness is not given, but it is chosen. I was unhappy with you in my presence. You brought me down.. Bad spirited people will make you unhappy and sadden you. You  are who you are and you won’t change but you can change a happy, pure person to a sad one. Lucky enough I got out before the damage was done.
Do I think you intentionally do this? NO… I don’t think atleast. I think you don’t care who you knock down to get to the top.


So now you know what knocked me down what turned me from an overjoyed person to a saddened person. I do not have depression if that is what you are thinking, I am just not as pure as before. I am working towards being the person I was before I met you, but it is difficult and it is hard to get over the true person you are. As J.K Rowling says it best “It is our choices… that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” And your choices are what showed me who are you. God bless you..




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