How the Years Go By

April 9, 2017
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You left me so easily. Like a baby bird leaves a nest. You left for a reason but I still question your exit in my life. Why did you leave? Why did you do what you did? I guess not all questions have an answer but I didn't think it would be like this. Father, you've been gone for so long the memories started to fade away. The days I could remember so easily are now getting harder to seek. The touch of your hand is no more. The sound of your voice is difficult to hear now. Probably because you aren't here. Birthday after birthday you were of no presence. Double digits, a milestone for me but nothing to you. You missed out on my 10th birthday and the day I became a teenager. I went through so much at school, lost a dear friend to death and still not a single tear that was wiped away by you. Weight loss, another milestone and still not an acknowledgement from you. Magnet placement, honor roll, culmination. All of which you didn't congratulate me on because you were off somewhere else. I know where you are. Why didn't you ever write back? I take it day by day hoping and praying I'll see you somewhere and that we'd be a beautiful family again. But nothing can change what you did. Nothing can change the fact you missed out on every moment of my life. Here I am preparing my life for when I graduate on stage and finally tell myself it was all worth it even though I'm only a freshman at the moment. Where is my love? How do I get my dad back? When do i get to be daddy's princess again? One letter. That's all I want. A letter telling me you still think of me and you remember me. After all you missed, after all the pain, after all the tears I shed because of you, I still love you because you're my father. Nothing will change my past. Just like nothing will change you.

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