Recipe for a Blinding Headache

April 7, 2017
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A truckload of babysitting gigs
Lifetime supply of high school drama
Pocketful of projects
Mound of quizzes and tests
Slice of essays
A to-do list the length of a dictionary
Sprinkle of a second job
Beaker of chores
Valley of responsibilities
Mound of nagging parents


First, put the to-do list in a bowl (works best if all at once, not chopped). Then, add the beaker of chores, valley of responsibilities, truckload of babysitting gigs, and a sprinkle of a second job. Mix until thoroughly blended. Next, combine the pocketful of projects, mound of quizzes and tests, and slice of essays in another bowl. For best results, procrastinate and do this at the last minute. To ensure perfection throw in the lifetime supply of high school drama. Then, combine bowls and mix. Throw in the oven and turn up the heat. To make sure it rises properly, cover in a mound of nagging parents. You’ll know it’s done when it looks like it’s going to explode. Finally, serve on a plate of anxiety.

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