It was never my intention to make you fall in love with me. We just found ourselves bumped into each other when we struggle to find and reach for the light when we were on the endless place of darkness. And we decided to reach for the light with our fingers intertwined, smiles plastered on our faces and with hearts beating erratically.
It was never my intention to fall in love with you. I just found myself longing with your presence every time you're not around. It's like a half of me was being taken if I couldn't see your smile full of love that was meant for me.
You became one of my sources of happiness when it was all books and poetry which I enjoyed the most. And I've never regretted the fact that I added you on the list because you made me feel like I'm your source of life and you've never failed to make me feel like I'm the center of your world.
I thought it was for a long haul. But I guess the word "Ephemeral" exists because it was meant for the both of us. The image of us being happily together was all ripped out when I knew about my bestfriend who fell in love with you too.
I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell my only friend who always sticks up with me every time I'm in my worst state that we are starting to build the foundation of love that both of us felt.
And for a split second, I just found myself standing in front of you, seeing you cried those tears that were like a dagger to my fragile heart. Oh, Love. How I wanted to wrap you around my arms, wipe those tears and tell you that I'm just kidding but I can't. Love, like how it was not my intention to fall for you, it was not my intention to break your heart like that too. I just didn't have the choice that moment. I was just afraid that my bestfriend since first grade would turn her back to me and chose to shut me for the rest of her life.
I'm torn between you two. And I know I can't be the ecotone that could keep the both of you to its two adjacent ecological systems because my bestfriend's in love with you too. It's either me in the ecosystem with her or me in the opposite ecosystem with you, Love. And I chose to be with her, I'm sorry. It was the hardest decision I've ever made in my life so far.
Love, I guess we're just an asymptote. We thought we would meet at the end point because we're both taking the path that we thought it could lead us into each other's arm but we're wrong. I guess this is the moment where the saying "Not because we met, means we we're meant for each other" applies.
It didn't turn well for the both of us but I loved you. And I will always do. Maybe that time that destiny tried to pair us up was not the very good timing for the both of us. Maybe we could be together someday. And I hope, when that time comes, you're still the same person I fell in love with.
Love vs Best friend
March 5, 2017