Insecurities: A Memory of a Friend

I remember feeling so nervous that it felt like my heart was in my throat and I couldn’t speak. It was my first day of sixth grade and I felt a combination of nervousness, confusion, embarrassment and excitement. I went to my history class and thought about about the worse thing that could happen, but what I was thinking didn’t happen and i was relieved. I met this girl who said we could be friends. I thought to myself “Maybe middle school won’t be so bad”.

I never thought it would turn out this badly. I couldn’t believe i was dealing with my first bully.She made me feel afraid to come to my own school. This was too much for an 11-year-old to handle.She pretended to be my friend. I didn't understand why she wanted to sadden me. At first, I didn't believe my friend when they told me that she said bad things about me behind my back. I mean how are you supposed to react when someone tells you that?

I started to perceive the rumors that she spread about me.When I finally confronted her all she said to me was “You deserve to be bullied because you are nothing and that's how you're going to stay for the rest of your life.”

As soon as I found out it was her I wanted to tell someone. Sadly, I was scared to tell anyone because she threatened to start hurting me physically. So I didn't tell anyone but I began telling my mom that I didn't want to go to school anymore but, I was forced to. When my friends heard what she was saying about me they stop talking to me. They thought what they heard was all true. This was too much for me, so I stop talking to everybody even my family.

So one day, I was scared to go to class because I just didn't want to deal with her. She caused me too much fear. I didn't even know she could make me feel this bad about being myself. So I just sat there sitting on the red brick wall while tears were streaming down my face. All of a sudden I hear a boy ask “Are you okay?”

My head rose from being buried in my hands. I told him everything. He was the first one to believe me. It felt like he could make everything better, like he could be my friend. The next day, I found out that boy I met told a teacher. I was never hurt by that girl again.

Now it's been years later. Sometimes I want to go back to this moment. This particular moment is very special to me. That was the day that I found out that you are never alone even when you think you are. This day changed me for the better. I want to relive this moment because the day that I met my best friend and I'm so glad I did.





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