Never Enough

February 22, 2017

I stepped out of the minivan like an actress would before strutting the red carpet. Instead, I wore my brand new Twinkle Toes and skinny jeans that made me feel dare I say, confident? Even as a eight year old child, the desire to be a part of the “popular” crowd seemed mesmerizing. This desire was the single thought that I helplessly revolved around.

However, as I entered the cursed doors of Room 23, I knew that I could never be popular. Me, the girl with thinly rimmed glasses, a bobbed haircut, and crooked smile. I saw her long, blonde hair and pink Adidas shoes. I looked at my own pair of Twinkle Toes and knew that I was out of style. Granted, I was never really in style. There was something about those girls that made guys fall to their knees with saliva escaping with edge of their mouths. I was the girl who they asked for homework help and played Pokemon Platinum with.

Today, I was in my mom’s shop dancing around the tiles of the floor, being careful not to step on the crack. The door bell jingled and I saw her. She still had the same long, blonde mane, except she was radiating even more confidence in a moment than I have had in a lifetime. Her eyeshadow was striking and daring. Purple with blue glitter. I pretended I didn’t know who she was. When I caught myself in the mirror, I looked at my plain brown hair that I recently chopped off. I thought,”Ughh, why did I chop it off, I look terrible”. I suddenly felt fat in my jeans and the boots that made me look tall began to feel stuffy. I called my brother and attempted to nonchalantly leave the shop. As I passed by her, she said, ”Bye Wilma”, not even looking at me. I muttered something and rushed out quickly.

Today, I walked to Chemistry wearing black converse, jeans, and my hoodie. This is considered to be “basic” in the highly judgmental world of teenagers. Except this time, I didn’t care (as much). It would be a lie to pretend I didn’t. In high school, I am still the incredibly geeky girl who reads in her free time and spends lunch with her math teacher. However, I am okay with my “label”. Popularity in high school may be the biggest dilemma that teenagers face but I would much rather be the nerd. I can assure you, we will take over the world one day.

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