I stared at your name of my screen for the longest time. I desperately wanted to tell you what was wrong. I was having difficulties with my constantly fighting parents and I needed to tell some. The pressure was building inside me. Yet, somehow I hesitate before texting you. What holds me back? Fear that I am exposing part of myself to you? Perhaps, it is how you will see me after you know how dark I truly am. Maybe you will finally see me the way I see myself. And I couldn’t risk that. I close the screen. I don’t text you. I keep it in and I know I will go to sleep regretting it. I cannot share my burdens with you. Maybe, just maybe, I care about you so deeply that I do not want to shatter my image in your eyes. I think I care for you so intensely that I distance myself from you. I am a broken piece of glass that will cut you. I refuse to cause your pain. I will bottle up my hurt. Isn’t that the most beautiful way to love someone?
The Text Messages You Will Never Read
February 12, 2017