Merriam Webster’s Dictionary defines resilience as,”the ability to become strong, healthy or successful again after an unfortunate event.” The English Oxford Dictionary states that, “resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” My definition of resilience far exceeds both sources.

I was thirteen-years-old when my world came crashing down. It was a cold Thursday night, the day after an insane blizzard. I heard the ringing of my home telephone and my mother answering it. Her voice was trembling. After she hung up the phone she called to Hannah, my eldest sister. I could not hear what they were saying from my bedroom upstairs, but I had an ominous feeling about the call. The following events all went by very quickly. The next thing I remember was my mother and Hannah getting in the car and my sister, Abby, telling me to go downstairs with her. I asked her what was going on, and she responded, “There has been an accident, Kyle is really hurt and he is on his way to be airlifted to the hospital.”

She said that Kyle had been run over by a bobcat while riding his bicycle. I was confused and distraught about what I just heard. At first, none of it seemed real. My four year old cousin, the cutest, sweetest, happiest child I have ever met could potentially lose his life. As Abby and I waited, we watched television and tried to keep from worrying. All I could think about was Kyle and his family. About two hours later, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my mom and eldest sister coming through the door. They were both in tears as they told us the news.

He didn't make it.

He died in the ambulance just a few blocks from the helicopter that was supposed to save him. 

My mother told us that my father was one of the first ones to the scene and that he went in the ambulance with Kyle. Kyle’s older sister, Jayden, came to spend the night at my house that evening. Jayden and I spent time together for a while before her dad came to my house. Pretty soon, most of my extended family was at our house; sitting in silence. Jayden was uninformed that Kyle had passed; her dad would be the one to tell her. Everyone was silent when her dad, Uncle Ron, went upstairs to tell Jayden the news. That night Jayden stayed over at my house and it broke my heart to hear her cry herself to sleep.

Family holidays were never the same without Kyle. Kyle's parents, Ron and Brandy, began to fight after his death. Pretty soon they were no longer living together.  About six years after Kyle’s death their divorce was final. It took that family a long time to move on after his death, but in the end, Ron and Brandy were happier apart. It was their way of moving on and being resilient after a tragedy. Jayden moved on very fast after Kyle’s death, or so it seemed. She never talked about him or what had happened, but her resilience gave hope to the rest of the extended family. Today, her main focus is sports and her friends; she lives a normal teenage life. I still have never heard her mention his name since the accident.

My parents and Hannah had a harder time with it than Abby and I. My dad has never spoke about what happened in the ambulance that night; I could never imagine having to helplessly watch someone die. Since Kyle’s death, I feel my whole family has valued human life much more. We spend a lot more time together when possible, and love one another more authentically. Like Elizabeth Edwards said, “Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before.” My Uncle, Aunt, cousin, myself and the rest of my extended family have created a life that unfortunately no longer includes Kyle. He is the reason for our resilience in accepting a new reality.

Resilience to me means to get up when the world knocks you down. To have stamina or strength, when push comes to shove; to recover after a loved one is taken away; to love even when love seems lost. It is not weak, it is not fleeting, and it is not easily obtained. Resilience is the courage to keep on going, and to keep on living no matter what.

Works Cited

"Elizabeth Edwards Quotes." BrainyQuote. Xplore. Web. 07 Nov. 2016.

Hornby, Albert Sydney., Anthony Paul. Cowie, and Jack Windsor Lewis. Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary of Current English. London: Oxford UP, 2014. Print.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, 2004. Print.