My life, My Fault. High school

When I was told by my family members that my highschool years would be the best years of my life; well they sure as hell lied. As soon as the first period bell rang, I had no idea where to go, no help, just huge people bumping and walking into me. This was the real world according to my dad who as a teenager didn’t even attend high school. These people who looked they were three times the age as me were talking and laughing about the things that happened over the summer; who “got” with who, who had sex with who. But me as the freshman, didn’t understand these terms. I obviously know what sex is, but there were other meanings that I didn’t learn until my next year.

You can ask yourself, “Is this guy really telling the truth”? Well if you answered “no”, then keep reading, if yes, then f*** off. This isn’t true. Why? It’s not true because this is what you see in those cheaply made, Hollywood high school movies. For me, it was relatively easy because I had past brothers and a sister who attended my high school so I would recognize when my brother would tell my mom “Pick me up here” or “Drop of my cleats here”. It was all peanut butter and jelly, meaning something easy, until that one day happened.

My family was always loving to one another, but sometimes, most times, there was a fight between me and my brothers or an argument about the politics happening at that specific time. My father, a very hardworking and dedicated man always tried to make me and my family better to what it could be, but when one person (me) decides to make a deal with their older brother that they shouldn’t have, that’s where the night went to complete and utter s***.

My brother took my Ipod one day because of reasons that don’t matter now, but the whole matter was was that I wanted my Ipod back, and the only way to do it was a fair way, a deal. I made a deal with my brother saying if I beat him in a videogame that we are both very good at, then he would have to give it back to me; you can probably guess what would happen if and when I lost. “You are such an asshole, you know you cheated, just give it back to me! You don’t have the right to take away MY Ipod if you have no good reason too!” My brother replying with the stupid smirk on his face that I just wanted to take off for him. “Shouldn’t have made the bet with me you b****.”

So, I did end up losing and me being the still little s***, I was pissed off and I went into the other room where my mom and dad was sitting down watching TV and heard murmuring under my breath. He also heard my sniffling and then asked what was wrong and I didn’t answer. Five minutes later, he went to go talk to my brother calmly, which then turned into an argument, which also then turned into my dad and older brother started putting their hands on each other. “Give your brother back his phone! Now!” “No, he shouldn’t have made the bet with me.” “There are no bets in this house! If you want to bet get in your car and get out of here.” My mother then worried about the commotion went inside his room screaming to get off of each other, and I know now that my dad didn’t mean to do the following actions, and I know he was deeply sorry because he apologized  to me, my brother, and my mom. He, in the heat of the moment, pushed my mom a little too harshly and she then fell to the floor. At that moment, I wanted to rush into that room and do whatever I could to get that asshole of my brother and to protect my mom. Later that night, I fell asleep with the thought of my parents getting a divorce. Now that I think back to that night, I didn’t sleep at all, I cried throughout the night. The thoughts of where I would be in a year scared me, with my dad, my mom, in a different state, new school. But the worst though of all that went through my stubborn stupid head that night was… was thinking if this was my fault. My fault. My fault. My. Own. Fault. Was my stubborn immature ass going to cause 25 years of marriage to come to an end, I don’t know. I just thought of My Fault.

How did this affect my life as a student? It was almost mid through freshman year and my social studies teacher assigned the class a research paper. Great. The cherry on top of the ice cream that was being served right in front of me. I could not keep my focus on school because I was so terrified of the future events that could’ve came. My other subjects also had a very bad outcome of the events that took place. I almost failed all of my classes, until that one day happened. If at this point you’re thinking if another family problem happened. no, nothing with my family occured again but something did happen to me. I attended church one Sunday and what the preacher said to the people shocked me. “Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior works in mysterious ways. He could be there when you are feeling ill, having trouble at work, or even at school perhaps. Jesus Christ teaches us how to forgive and forget-”

This is also not true, nothing that was said to me on that Sunday was even remotely close to my life. I did not almost fail my classes, but my grades did suffer a bit. But that wasn’t the point of this story. This story was to explain how someone’s life could be altered because of events that happen not just within their family, but also at work, or at school. My life was altered and I found a way to see that bright light or idea that those people in those Hollywood movies see; whether it is to “Nut up or shut up”, or stay in the gym, practice real hard and when it’s time for that big game, play like you want to win. “Just because someone stumbles and loses their way doesn’t mean that they’re lost forever.” Charles Xavier.