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Choosing Friends

By , Portland, OR

A little while ago my best friend left the school and I had to make new friends. In the past I’ve had bad experiences with some friends, so I thought this would be difficult. It definitely was a lot easier than I expected because all my good friends just came to me. It turns out, good friends don’t have to do with money, or popularity. Good friends are people who will stick by you through hard times, lift you up when you are down, and like you for you, not what you have.


I used to have one friend who I thought was one of the most important people in my life. Often times she would judge me and pick out all the mistakes I would make. She was one of my first friends so I thought that she was just trying to help me out. Apparently, she was trying to turn me into the friend she wanted, and not the friend I was. Sometimes she would go too far and hurt my feelings. It was during those times when I wondered what a true friendship was. My mom would tell me a quote by Dr. Seuss, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” When I was struggling, or going through hard times, there weren’t really any people I could rely on to be there. To me, that really determined a good friend; if they didn’t have enough time to help you or when something happened that they knew they’d get in trouble for, they would just leave and make you deal with it on your own. That’s not a friend that you would want to have. We need friends who will stick by us.

 

It’s important that when you are sad, or frustrated, or whatever you are feeling, you have someone to talk to who understands you and you can rely on. Although she could have been trying to help me, my friend always told me the things I was doing wrong and it hurt my feelings. She was tearing me down, not building me up. She liked to tell me the things I didn’t want to hear. Recently in class, we learned that if someone tells you something that might hurt you, it’s because they love you. It would be better to find out that you were too bossy by a friend then have no friends in the future because of that. So sometimes friends really are trying to help us out, and that’s a good point but that’s not always the case. Sometimes it’s the opposite and you just have to learn that that’s who they are. You could even tell them and maybe they’ll understand that it hurts and doesn’t necessarily help.


When I was really young, I had this one friends who would always came over to my house. I considered her my best friend, but looking back on that friendship, it seems like it was very one-sided. She would always get mad at me and yell at me. It seemed almost like she didn’t even like me. Whenever she came over, she would just play with my toys and throw them all over my room. We never really interacted. She just liked me because of the things that I owned. She didn’t really like me as a friend, and she never treated me as one either. I should have known that that friendship wouldn’t last long. I think that it’s very important to have a friend that isn’t fake and they like you because of who you are. The friendship will last longer, and you’ll have a great experience with them.


It took a long time to find the right friends, but it was definitely worth it. I know that the friendships will last forever. Even if your friends move away, if they really mean that much to you, you’ll never forget them and you’ll make an even bigger effort to be a better friend and keep that relationship. I can always count on my friends, even if they’re not always right by me. I know that they are the right friends because even if they’re in a situation that would mean getting in trouble, they’ll always stick by me. They’ll lift me up and encourage me when I’m discouraged, and they like me for the person I am.




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