A teddy bear. A small, white, fluffy teddy bear. To you it might just be an insignificant little toy that a child used to play with, but for me, it is a reminder of a promise that I made fourteen years ago to someone I care for. A promise I intend on keeping, even if it costs me my life. I bought the little bear fourteen years ago, a few days before my little sister was born. I had bought it for her, as a welcome to the world gift, and along with it, I made her a promise. Teddy Ted was the name she gave that little bear, and it was her most prized possession for years. For her, it was a toy, a gift from her older brother. I saw it differently though, it reminded me of what I had told her, what I had whispered into her ear as she fell asleep in my arms for the first time. That I would never leave her side. That I would never let her down, that I would protect her from this cruel world we live in. And that little bear, with its small, button-like nose and the little squeaky heart, stood for that.
As the years rolled by, I watched her play with it, care for it, and protect it as she grew older. And every time she picked that bear up, I was reminded of my promise. I remember a time when she was sick, multiple times actually, that I refused to leave her side, and whenever she needed something, I was up in a flash, ready to serve. My parents never let me stay, argued that school was more important than caring for her. That there was not much I could do. I, however, was never convinced, but them being my parents, I had to listen, they wouldn’t allow me to stay. Those days I never payed attention in class, and rushed home, hoping there was something I could do to help. Now, when I see her at the computer with her headphones on, ignoring the world and typing away, I remember that fragile little girl laying on the couch.
I believe she needs protecting, not in a physical way, because I have to admit, she can do that on her own, but in an emotional way. She needs to be protected from the pain that we are forced to live with, from the knowledge that we have no control over our own lives. Every time something of the like happens I try to shield her by omitting details of the occurred, to make it less painful, to try to make it less painful. It doesn’t make me feel less guilty, because at the end of the day, I’m lying to her. The promise is kept, even then, because she is shielded. The bear is no longer around, it mysteriously vanished a few months ago, my promise, however, did not. It has stayed with me and will never leave my mind, and now, with another little sister, it will truly never leave me because I have repeated that same promise to her as well. I believe everyone has someone they want to protect, and I believe Teddy Ted reminds me of who it is I have to protect.