When I was younger they told me that I shall have my forever with no one but them. My family. To me at that time the concept was thrilling, what’s better than staying with my family? They buy me toys, they get me food, and they totally love me. That’s really how I thought, and now I know how naïve I was!
The first lie I ever heard was, ‘family supports you no matter what’, and I wish I can say that this is the truth but it isn’t, at least for me. Maybe somewhere else, someone else got this amazing family, however I don’t.
The second lie was that, ‘family accepts you however you are, in your ups and downs’
What I believe is that both lies can apply and totally can be true. This however rarely happens, because yes your family will support you but only when you are successful. Yes your family will accept you, but only when you’re what they want you to be. Be a copy of them and you will be more than accepted. Being different will destroy you, and for that I’m sorry.
Being different amongst my family is the hardest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. The lack of believing and the lack of acceptance. They see that their beliefs is the only thing that’s right and anything else is wrong. However let me tell you I am not saying that I am the winged angel descended from heaven! On the contrary. I have my faults and mistakes, but I hoped that my family will be the one that loved me in all my cases and with all my faces. They’d be the one that support me in the ups and downs. They won’t look down on me when I go through a failure.
My point from all of this is, if anyone anywhere is going through the same thing I’m going through. The tears you shed in the darkness of your room on your white pillow, the silent treatment, being treated badly or emotionally abused even.
Just know that you’re not alone, know that you are not wrong, know that someday you will rise above all of this and prove them all wrong. I wish I could be more helpful but this is the best I can do.
I know that none of my dear family will ever understands this nor will they even bother reading it. However I want to write something for any parent who thinks that they're doing something similar to that, you’re destroying your children. We all know that your love for us is unconditional just don't suffocate us in the process.
Not in million years will parents hate their children. It is simply the fact that they do not understand, understand our emotions and fears, our point view that may contradict what they believe. It really is simple because all what both parties need is a common ground, for both to understand each other.
Finally this is a just a small message to my dear family, though I know they will never read and if they did they won't understand for in their mind they are doing everything the right way.
Dear Family of mine,
For your love, for the lack of your acceptance, for the absence of your support. I shall forever be grateful for I found me! The me that would have never existed without you, who can and will find her own path to heaven.