Sophie, Inside and Out

August 4, 2016
By SophieFloph PLATINUM, Seattle, Washington
SophieFloph PLATINUM, Seattle, Washington
21 articles 3 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Her stomach did a revengeful flop."


Sophie. Quiet. Smart. A good student. That’s what people see when they talk to me. A girl who tries too hard in class, with too much attention to rules.

I am closed. Guarded. That’s what people see. I don’t give away much. I don’t goof off. I only smile, and nod.

They see the perfect daughter of a bespectacled, Shakespeare-loving language arts teacher–the teenage reincarnation, only without the jokes.

I am too focused. Too work-driven.

People are surprised when they found out I’m in Hands for a Bridge, or that I’m horrible at tests, or that I have absolutely no intention of being a professional violinist.

“I never would’ve thought,” they say.

They don’t know me.

I’m Sophie. I like reading and writing and orchestra, as well as discussing idiotic hypotheticals with my friends. I have a strange obsession with purple pens and like to take stalker photos when people aren’t looking, which creeps the living daylights out of them. I laugh uncontrollably when I’m nervous, and once I start, it’s hard to stop. Whenever I’m hyper, my friends think I’m high, but then again, they have no idea what I’m like in front of my sisters.

I have emotional breakdowns when I’m stressed, and I have to force myself to check my grades because I know how badly I did on that one APUSH quiz.

I don’t do well on tests. My hands clamp up, my knees shake, and I overthink what’s right there in front of me. I get scared to play violin in front of other people, even my own teacher. I screw up my recitals. My bow ricochets across the string and becomes a tangled mess.

I have trouble admitting this, even to myself, but I’m judgmental. I’m comparative, and I need to stop.

I’m embarrassed of what I create. There are so many people out there who mean more, say more, and do more. But I can only strive to do what I can, and help others do the same.

More than anything, I want to be a writer. I want to put words on paper, and I want those words to touch peoples’ lives. There are so many things publishers are doing wrong these days, and I want to help change that. In the publishing industry, quantity is valued over quality, and, as a result, the same thing is written over and over and over again. I cannot begin to tell you how mad it makes me when I step into a bookstore and I see fifteen different copycats of the Hunger Games.

Obviously, publishers have no understanding of teens whatsoever. We’re being force-fed all this melodramatic angsty crap that is NO REPRESENTATION OF HOW TEENS ACTUALLY ARE.

Do you know what I want? Relatable characters. Storylines that don’t hinge off of a whiny protagonist somehow being “special”.

My writing reflects as best I can what I want to see in fiction, but unfortunately for me, it’s not angsty enough to be marketable.

But no more words of anger. For publishers to understand me, I have to understand them. It’s the same way for anyone in this world, I believe, and that’s why I do all I can to see the other side.

So who am I?

I’m Sophie. I’m a reader, a writer, a violinist, and most importantly, a human being.


The author's comments:

Last October, there was a South African visistation at my school. One of the assignments on our retreat with them was to write about how we are perceived and how we are.


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.



SciArc

MacMillan Books

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!