Crying myself to sleep is something I've grown used to. It doesn't make it hurt any less. It doesn't make it easier to cope with. It doesn't get better over time. It gets worse and worse, darker and darker until I can see no more light. I'm not crying because of the amount of school work I have. I'm not crying because of the pressure on grades. I'm not crying because I have no musical talent and I wish I did. I am not crying becuase a boy called me fat and ugly at school today. I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm angry. I'm angry that things in life happen and I have no control over it. I'm crying because I fell so hard in love that I couldn't dig myself out of this mess even if I knew how. I'm crying myself to sleep every night because of the pain that comes from loving one person. One single person can give me so much joy. And yet that one person can cause more pain than everyone in my life put together. Him leaving is like a dagger to my heart. A punch in the stomach. All the air is punched out of me. I can't breath. Him leaving feels like a part of me just died. Nothing I have ever felt compares to the pain of him leaving. I can't sleep. I can't focus. I can't work. And worst of all- I can't do anything about it. He's leaving. The day will come and no matter what I do, the day will come. I can't stop it. I wish with all of my being that it didn't have to end this way. But I can't stop it. It's naive to think I could change the outcome. It was naive of me to get so lost in him I didn't realize I'd be lost without him. It's a hopeless cause. A closing book. The ending of a great tale that will never be told again.