To the parent that walked out:

It’s been a while now, since I’ve seen your face, since I heard your voice. I’d be lying if I said it was easy to go every day without you by my side, but I wouldn’t be lying if I said it was something that is definitely possible. Even if I never get answers as to why you didn’t love me or why you didn’t want to be in my life, I finally convinced myself that I would be okay with out you. Instead of being sorry for myself, I am sorry for you.

I’m sorry you weren’t there to help me get ready for my senior prom, I’m sorry you weren’t there to watch me walk across that stage and receive my high school diploma, I’m sorry you weren’t there for my freshman move in day, I’m sorry you weren’t there to watch me succeed in my first year of college. But above all I’m sorry for all you’re going to miss from here on out.

I’ve made it past some important milestones in my life without you and I’m going to make it through a lot more too. I’m sorry you wont be there to watch me graduate college or get into the medical school of my dreams, I’m sorry you wont be there to watch me fall in love with the person of my dreams, have my big dream wedding, build my first house, or have my first child. I am sorry you will miss some of the most important parts of my life. But for all the things I am sorry for, I don’t have any sympathy for you.

I don’t understand how you could do what you’ve done but through all of the hurt I still try to figure it out. I try to make sense of how someone can raise a child to decide one day they don’t love him or her anymore and just walk away. For the longest time I thought it was my fault. I would stay up late at night thinking of all the “what ifs” that could have been done to try and make you stay but none of them gave me the answer I needed so I tried to move on. I go every day trying to convince myself and the people around me, that I am okay without you. I make jokes, I laugh, but in reality I am hurting on the inside. For all of the hurt I still can’t hate you though, but rather thank you.

You have taught me so much that I will carry with me all my life, whether you’re in it or not. So thank you, thank you for the strength and positivity. From the hurt and bad times I experienced with you I have learned to stay positive and take every bad situation with a grain of salt. Thank you for proving to me that I don’t need people in my life to make me happy.  I have the power to be my own happiness. Thank you for making me the mature individual I am today. Because of your absence I learned to grow up at a young age and mature quickly. So thank you for all the life lessons, the positivity, and the strength.

Just know that I do not hate you, nor will I ever, and through all the hurt I still love you. Most importantly I am doing quite okay without you and not now or ever will I need you back in my life. We all have choices and you made yours. Good luck with all of your endeavors.

Love,

The child you left behind.