I was hesitant to submit this because then people would know, they would know what I struggle with, what I live with. Now I realize that I want people to know so that they can learn. They can read and see that depression is real and we can't keep ignoring it. If someone tells you that they are depressed don't just tell them to 'be happy' or brush it off, help them. Let them know they are loved and cared about.

I hope you learn from this and take away something good from my story. For me, this is what a normal week of struggling with depression looks like:

Day 1
Monday
February 29, 2016

Dear Depression,
Today you made me question my best friends. Do they really care about me? Or is it all just sympathy and pity. You cause me to sit here in my bed crying as I clutch my head tightly in my hands. You scream at me to give up. I don't listen to you. I try not to, but somehow you still like to play with my emotions and make me slowly withdraw from my family and friends. You may make me question everything that I know but you won't win. I won't let you. I read over my friends texts. They love me. You want to hurt me. I'll get over you.

Day 2
Tuesday
March 1, 2016

Dear Depression,
Today you make me feel stupid. When my best friend asked if I understood this complicated math homework I wanted to say no and let her help me. I said yes, that I understood it. I struggled my way through the entire problem and came up with the wrong answer again and again all because you told me that I was dumb and I was a bother to my friend because I am so stupid. You made me embarrassed of myself and made me want to cry. Cry because I was ashamed. You made today one of my low days, the days where I blame myself for anything, and hate myself for everything. I fight against you yet I fall back into you when someone offers me help out. If a person talked to me, the way you cause me to talk to myself I wouldn't let them be in my life, so why do I let you? I don't know. I still have hope, I'll fight you. I'll win. I'll get over you.

Day 3
Wednesday
March 2, 2016

Dear Depression,
Today you managed to stay away at first until someone called me weak. Then I crashed again. Like an airplane I was soaring into an endless sky of hope and you come and make me crash back down to the painful reality I live in. I managed to hide you well enough that everyone thought I was fine like they always do. You kept pushing at the back of my mind and made me think of that word....weak. Weak? I was weak? How could that be? I've been fighting you for months now and they don't know about it but they call me weak. They don't know I've been strong because I've had to be. You point out that I am weak, that strong people don't get depressed. That is a lie. Everyone gets depressed even if it's not long. Stop lying to me. Stop making me lie to myself. I am strong, I am not weak. You are weak, and I am strong for fighting you off. Don't get comfortable yet. You won't stay with me forever. I'll get over you.

Day 4
Thursday
March 3, 2016

Dear Depression, 
Today you made me feel insecure. You made me wonder who I was, if I was good enough. You made me wonder if I was even worth the fight. On a day that I should've been happy you pulled at me and insisted I keep my distance so I won't taint all these people with something as disgusting as myself. People see the happy girl who is always complimenting others and joking around. That's because I don't want them to ever be as sad as I am. I'm hiding the pain that you cause me. Why must you keep me so tight in your grip? Can I not live my life without you trying to tell me how to feel? Maybe I wanted to feel confident today but you refuse to allow me just one day. You never give me a break. I wish you'd go away. I'll just keep fighting you. You haven't done me any good. I know that, so I keep fighting. I'll get over you.

Day 5
Friday
March 4, 2016

Dear Depression,
Today you have proven to me that you have succeeded in pulling me away from my family. You are victorious in making me hide away daily because it is safe. When I start to question how 'safe' it is in here with you, you try to tell me that they don't like me. That my family wants nothing to do with me, and my friends think I'm a bother. That's what you tell me, "It's safe in here, stay in here." You whisper to me. I listen, but it's not really safe in here at all because it leaves me with my thoughts. You are part of my thoughts, that looming shadow that just won't disappear. If I leave myself alone with you, you will tear down the little strength I've built up to fight you. Yet, I stay. I stay so I can prove that I can be alone without you destroying me. I'm proving to myself that you do not control me. You do not help me. You try to destroy me, but I'm stronger than you will ever know. I'll get over you.

Day 6
Saturday
March 5, 2016

Dear Depression,
Today my family wanted to go to town, they asked me many times to go with them and I turned them down each time. You've made social interaction unbearable. You have made it to where if I can prevent going out, I will. I don't go because I know you will put lies into my head while I'm trying to have fun. However, if I stay you put lies in my head saying how they are having more fun without me...it hurts. I want to be with my family and my friends without you telling me they will be better off. I want to spend every waking breath I have telling them how much they mean to me and how much they help me. I need my friends to know that they make me feel wanted. I need my family to know they make me feel loved. You know, if I lose my fight against you you'll lose too. You won't have anyone to degrade, to break down, to bully. You'll leave with me. So why must you fight me? Either way you will lose. I don't plan to lose, I plan to win. I will win. You will become something unimportant in my past. I don't care what it takes. I'll be able to spend time with my loved ones again without you telling me your lies. So just give up. I'll get over you.

Day 7
Sunday
March 6, 2016

Dear Depression,
Today you always like to try and upset me because it is Sunday, you remind me that tomorrow is when I have to go back to school and begin my new week full of lies that I'm happy and okay. They always say that when you have depression, even the smallest tasks seem like too much. I've never realized how true this is until I got depressed. Most of the time now, I do things as quickly as possible to get them out of the way. Why do I do that? So I can sit in my room and let you scream at me about how worthless I am? You try and make me feel guilty. People are going through things worse than I am, so I have no right to be sad, but that isn't true. Just because others are struggling more than me doesn't mean my sadness means nothing. You try to make me hate myself. I don't know why I even let you into my life, I guess the truth is I didn't. I had a hard time in my life and never really knew how to handle it. I know now that I handled it wrong but you didn't care. You took advantage of the fact I was weak and hurting and you attached yourself to me. Like a leech, you suck out my happiness as if it was blood. Of course, leeches just need taken removed, just like you. This is the end of my week documenting what it feels like to live in a state of depression. Maybe I can raise awareness. Maybe someone will read this and know how real depression is, how much it can change things. I just hope someone can take my experience and learn from it. I won't let this go on forever. I want to be happy. I will be happy. I will make a difference and you won't hold me back. I'll get over you.

Dear Depression,
I will get over you.