“In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are,” once said by Max DePree. Story of my life right there, I used to think everything needed to be the same, but now that I am older I realize change happened to be the  best point for growth in my life. I remember those days cristal clear, they were good days except when I worried. Although change bothered me it didn't last the entire time, I never had the fear constantly. Majority of the time I would start to worry while trying to sleep, thoughts would race through my mind and clog with any mess up I made that day. I would think over and over, do they think I'm mean, am I missing any homework, did I ace that test, do people like me? I just wanted to be perfect in my mind, be the best I could be. Scary change and a big challenge, I have now overcame and also embrace it.
If everything could stay the same for eternity, it would be my childhood dream. As a child, I had trouble with change, it used to be tough. I would get up at any time of the night and tell my mom what I had to do, if she remembered to do something, I had crazy worrying. Since I have always been a quiet child and most likely always will be, I went with the flow all the time. When something big came into the picture, it scared me for a while, I would think about it and just keep thinking. Although this is a big road block, it considerably had to be the only concept I needed to get over. School has always came easy, home life is good, everything then and now is perfect from my perspective. I had not one clue why this used to be a big problem for me, I wanted to get over it be done. This, my fear, making me feel weak being afraid of something so simple.
Who knows why change was something that scared me, I have some idea but not i’m completely sure. It could be because my mom and dad got a divorce, or moving issues, it could have been something completely different. Since my parents got divorced, divorce could have caused my worrying. But yet again me being young, I didn't have much impact on what's going on. Moving, I am almost positive this is the problem, as a baby we stayed in my grandparents house until we got our house in Traverse City. I  grew up in the house in Traverse City all the way up to age five, this is when my parents got a divorce. After the divorce my brother, mom, and I had to move. My grandpas house happened to be lonely with only him, so he offered us to stay. My grandpas house being not far from Elk Rapids, I started kindergarten at Lakeland. Then about three quarters through kindergarten, we moved again. Also we had to get rid of my favorite pets Molly, Sweetie, and a lizard, I forgot what my brother named his lizard. The Elk Rapids apartments being the only situation my mom could afford on her own, we took it to this day I still live here. That moving period I feel stirred up my worrying time. My brother did not want to move to Elk Rapids since he had a great job at Munson Hospital. Although it happened to be weird without my pets and brother, I got over it quickly. Crying now accompanied my worrying. Since worrying only happened at night, I would either talk to my mom or call my dad. This however never affected my daytime life, I don't think anyone knew accept for my family. In reality crying just so happened to always be about the day or next day events, it took me so long to fall asleep. It bothered me that I did this but when I would worry about my worrying it would make it worse. Change and worrying was hard, but I still lived a “perfect” life. 
    The best days I had in awhile were the glorious days of overcoming change and worrying. When I got a little older to where my mom could explain to me that I could control these worrying moments. According to her, not many of the events I Imagined were real or actually ended up happening. This, all in my head I need to be stronger, I needed to build up strength and overpower it. Some nights were better than others, it didn’t take me very long to overcome the crying part. Crying is something I do not like to do, crying makes me feel weak especially about something so silly in my perspective. About a month's worth of time I cried about my issues, my mom would turn on my mellow pink and purple lava lamp, with the sound of my grandma's unicorn music box. Each day it took me less and less time to stop crying, then I would just lay there worrying. In the middle of the night I would check and make sure everything had a perfect place and it also needed to be ready for the next day, in other words a perfectionist. Slowly overcoming this fear was easier than I expected. I started feeling better about my decisions and became a little more outgoing and confident. This helped me so much just knowing that one little thing I did would not make everyone hate me. Most likely what I did the people didn’t even think twice about. The end of fourth grade or the beginning of fifth grade, is about the time I completely overcame this. It felt so good to be able to come home exhausted and be able to fall asleep not right away but in less than an hour, instead of the entire night, these were some of the best days because of this.
Oh change and worrying how did I ever let you get to me, I should have never let this happen I am stronger than that. “Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles, it takes away today's peace,” once stated by an unknown author. That may be the lesson I have learned now, but if I saw that same quote years ago when this all started it would not have helped. Going through this fear since first grade all the way to fifth grade made me who I am. Without this fear I would mostly likely still be extremely shy and a boring person. During this fear I was shy, unconfident, smart, respectful, no good at sports, I let bullying get to me, quite, nice, perfectionist, worrier, and loved school and friends. Now after my fear I have become very confident but still have my quiet shyness in me, I still am smart and a perfectionist but I do not worry about those things. Bullying heck no, when someone is bullying me I call them out on it, still being very nice but confident at the same time. I kept respectful, you must be respectful to get anywhere in life. You guessed it I am still bad at sports, no one can be good at everything. Even though everyone tells me I am no good at it I still try my hardest and do it with confidence. My love for school and people, such as my friends never faded. But out of all of this my worrying is no longer a major part of me, everyone worries about something in there life but nothing like I did. Although some nights I think it might come back, it lasts no longer than a few days. I am now strong enough to overcome it and not let it get to me. I feel so empowered to have the ability to say I have overcame my worst fear.