Deathly Wishes | Teen Ink

Deathly Wishes

January 2, 2016
By Anonymous

Screw everyone, screw my life, I am losing my fire, I am losing my life.


My fingers race across the keyboard, validating my 120 WPM speed, likely surpassing it, but my brain is definitely moving at a faster speeds. Words fill my brain threatening to spill out if my fingers can’t keep up. I have so much to express, so much to speak, I cannot let it seep out without unleashing myself.


All of these people interfering with my life is driving me crazy. Everyone hates me and I cannot hold myself together. The truth is that I hate everyone. Or so I say. I repeat, I cannot hold myself together anymore. Who is that teenager that glares at me in the mirror? Who is she? Who has she become?


My brain is being tortured, it’s being burned by the torches of the fools who surround me. They stick their grubby, sweaty hands through my chest into my heart and squeeze, obliterating my soul. All that is left, is a ghost of a person. Before I blow up like the nukes that North Korea is in the process of developing, I need to let it all out.


These people are all fake, bipolar witches, and try to help me, try to support me, but backstab me when I need them most. I don’t need your sweet sugarcoating, which tastes like a bitter neem plant. I don’t need your nonsense, which is twisting my life into that cyclone you never wanted to experience. I don’t need them.


Inside, I know it is a lie. I need them so much that it hurts, but I wish they had different natures. Not diluted with a deadly poison, ready to aim at me the second that I step of the path. I had different ambitions in life, not suicidal, horrible ones, but those have all disappeared.


A tumor forms in my brain, the result of so much prodding, teasing, annoying, and all of the death inside of me. A fire rages in my heart fueled by everything that I have had to deal with in my life.


I have no talents, no motivation, and no encouragement in life. Those who were to support me have slapped me away and vanished, simply blowing hot air towards me, as if to propel me to death. I wish to waste my life away like a wistful dandelion.


Screw everyone, screw my life, I am losing my fire, I am losing my life.



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