One Year or a Lifetime? | Teen Ink

One Year or a Lifetime?

November 22, 2015
By apeters BRONZE, Plainfield, Illinois
apeters BRONZE, Plainfield, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

 It was November 23, 2014; I laid in my bed, anxiously biting my nails, as I waited for him to direct message me back. To this day I still don’t know where I got the courage but I am thankful for it. We live in a society where it has been stereotyped that the guy is suppose to be the one to make the first move; but I couldn’t wait any longer because who knew if it would ever happen. To him I was invisible. He was a football player on my high school’s rival team, which is how he caught my eye. He was the running back, always making good plays and had the whole school cheering for him. He was attractive and also happened to be dating one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever seen. She was a cheerleader; anyone could’ve guessed that one. Then there was me, a depressed teenage girl who stayed in every night because the thought of being around people scared her. It was just like any typical love movie, but would this one have a happy ending?
 

One million thoughts of doubt rushed to my mind, but suddenly they were all paused when I heard my phone ring; it was him. It was a moment that changed my life forever. We had exchanged phone numbers and started texting all day everyday. We began creating a friendship that I never knew could be possible. His girlfriend and him broke up and I was there for him. Even though he was hurt he remained smiling. He made the best out of a situation that to some of us would be heart breaking; I wanted to learn how to do that. Whenever something bad happened in my life I would let it tear me apart and finally after 16 years, I had went through as much as I could handle, leading me into a depression. Many people said I had nothing to be upset about because I had parents who spoiled me, a loving family, and because of the fact that I was simply alive. The problem with this society is: people do not realize that material items can not make up for pain, an hour of love can not make up for years of hate, and that being upset doesn’t mean you’re taking your life for granted.

 

We talked for days, which turned to weeks and then those weeks turned into months. I loved talking to him because he could make me smile and laugh, two gestures that I never thought I would perform again. Our friendship progressed as I developed a crush for him but there was something that the love movies, books, or my peers never taught me: the boy does’t always have the same feelings toward you. He valued our friendship but saw us as only that. You could put the blame on me for thinking that a girl like me could ever be with a boy like him. Foolish. He started to date a new girl and I watched our friendship fade into the background. My jealously grew when I saw them showing each other off on social media. When he left it didn’t only break my heart but he took my happiness with him. He was not a bad guy in any way, shape, or form. He was just a teenage boy.
 

When they broke up he began to talk to me again and to my mistake, I took him back with open arms. I showed him that no matter what he did I would be here waiting for him. I thought I was in love with him. Frankly, I didn’t even know what love was. I couldn’t let go of him even though he made me sad because he was also the only thing that made me happy. When we were together everything felt different because their was a happiness that i never felt before. He gave me compliments, that i could not believe, but it taught me that there are people that could see me as “pretty” or “amazing”. I spent my life degrading myself but in a few short months he taught me how to accept myself. He taught me that happiness was an achievable goal. The most amazing part about it all, is that he had no idea he was doing these things for me; he was just being himself. No, we didn’t end up together but I am okay with that; because I am beyond thankful for everything he had taught and done for me through out our adventure.
 

As November 23, 2015 approaches, I can not say that I have gotten over him yet. We have our occasional talks and hangouts but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. I am tempted to text him everyday like old times but I know that I can’t because we have both changed in this year span. Even though meeting him came with times full of pain, I can’t say that I regret any of it. All good things come to an end but that doesn’t mean they have to be forgotten. With him I found a friendship that may not last forever but will forever be with me. What we had was shorter than I had hoped for, but that year taught me things that will last a life time.


The author's comments:

I wrote about this moment in my life to show: teenage girls that heart break isn't the end of the world, that life is about making friend ships that will last a life time, value all the time you have with a person and the memories. I also added a small part about my depression to prove to society that depression is an illness that no one should be embarassed about. 


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