To care or not to care | Teen Ink

To care or not to care

April 11, 2015
By letterpainter BRONZE, Cote-St-Luc, Other
letterpainter BRONZE, Cote-St-Luc, Other
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I wasn’t born with. It was given to me by nature at age 4. It never felt a problem until I got to the age where the only thing that defines you is your look. My “eye thing” as I called it was creeping people around me. They weren’t used to see a person walking around with an eye going inside. It’s called strabismus, yet I prefer calling it the “eye thing”, my “eye thing”. In 6th grade my classmates started laughing and pointing their fingers at me.  I never felt as if they were mean because I always taught they had the right to laugh at me. I was the problem .It was my fault. I was going to deal with it by myself. The only thing that would have made this whole thing better is if I knew someone like me. But I didn’t.  Feeling judged is one of the worst things that a person could feel. Obviously I am not the only one, but I always felt that if someone felt ugly they could just put on makeup to feel prettier. I couldn’t do anything.  If someone felt fat they could lose some weight. I couldn’t do anything. If someone felt lonely they could make some friends. I couldn’t do anything. I was completely wrong. The second I realized that I wasn’t the problem and that they were, I stopped caring if people laughed and pointed there finger at me. I only wish it didn’t take me until now to realize that I was beautiful inside out and I didn’t need anyone to tell me that. I was given the chance to live, and I didn’t want to mess it up. You only get a one chance in life, so you should make it matter for you, and only you. It didn’t matter to me what people taught until came the time when I felt in love. Funny how a guy can make you question your beauty. He made me feel as ugly as the March weather in Montreal.  It took me so long this time to realize that I wasn’t the problem.  I realized that a bully is not always the person that kicks you in the stomach until you throw up blood or sticks gum on your locker, it’s the person who makes you question your inner beauty because that’s the worst person. Knowing this does not make it always easy, but it still makes it better. Until now I still have difficulties telling myself that I am not the problem, they are. But when you feel like every person you cross on the street is judging you , you don’t say I don’t care unless you’re are a strong person, on which I’m working at the moment. Sometimes things don’t turn the way you want them to, but you always have the control over you decisions in life : to care or not to care. 



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