Infinity | Teen Ink

Infinity

March 6, 2015
By Anonymous

Life wasn't going too well. I was getting bullied at school and home life wasn't too good either. My mom was never there for me and I have never met my dad. My brothers and sisters didn't like me. Everyone used to always tell me that I wasn't good enough.
         

I came home one night with a busted lip and a black eye. My grandma asked what happened but I didn't answer, I ran into my room and started crying my eyes out. I had never felt like this before, never felt like I was worthless. I closed my eyes for a minute and tried to calm myself down. It didn't work, so I hurried to the bathroom. When I got in the bathroom I looked in the mirror and realized what they were saying was true. I am ugly. I am fat I am worthless. So I opened the medicine cabinet and took out my grandma’s sleeping pills. I didn't know what I was going to do with them, I just wanted to hold them.
          

I started thinking about what they were saying about me, and it all came into my head. Me. Dead. No more bullying. No more misery. I opened the pill bottle. I poured the pills into my hand, I started crying again, long tears streaming down my face, my makeup running, black lines falling down my cheeks. I took one, and started crying harder. Then I took several. I knew I was going to be happy and at rest soon enough.
           

I went back into my room and layed on my bed, feeling tired I closed my eyes. I heard someone banging on the door to my room, but I didn't answer. I knew that the pills were kicking in and I didn't care. I closed my eyes about to be at peace forever and my door opened.

I woke up the next morning, in a psych ward. I knew I didn’t succeed, and I guess I was happy that I didn’t die, I thought about my little sisters and never seeing them again. I thought of my mom and how she would be so depressed. I thought of my grandma, and I knew she must be horrified. Yes, I was happy that I did not succeed. Today I am still happy that I didn’t. But some days, life gets rough. I really feel like giving up and letting go and yet I don't. I keep going and striving to make my life better.
        

Suicide is never the answer. Don't kill yourself over people bullying you, they are just trying to get a rise out of you. If you do kill yourself then they got what they wanted. Life's too beautiful to end it so soon. Remember, you have people who love and care about you so much. If you died they wouldn't know what to do, Stay strong and keep fighting.


The author's comments:

This happened to me when I was 13 years old


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LoganSue said...
on Mar. 19 2015 at 9:20 am
LoganSue, Auburn, New York
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Hope you guys liked it:)