As a child I was warned by the adults around me about overactive hormones and the heartbreak that comes along with getting older. I wasn't warned about the unseen things in life that take hold of you and refuse to let go. One day I was happy and carefree and the next day I didn't know why I was here and it set into my mind that I didn't want to be. Something unseen and unknown to me burrowed itself into my skin and started to course through my veins. Before I knew it, I was pulled under and had no idea how to find my way back to the surface. There were weights tied around my ankles and as I sank further and further it became more clear to me that eventually time was going to run out and I had to save myself before it did. I was underwater looking up at all the people reaching their hands out to help me, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't reach back out to them. I was once asked “When is the right time to let go?” and my response was, “When the darkness gets so dark you can’t find your way home.” To this day I’m still asking myself what if I don’t make it back home?... what if I don’t make it? I told myself that I had to do it on my own. There was a voice inside my head that was louder than anyone elses and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't figure out how to silence it. One minute everything was fine and then the next minute my world was falling apart. Nobody cares, nobody needs you, nobody wants you, what are you waiting for? My mind always reeled and the thoughts were always in the back of my head. I had so much love and support and the most lovely of all possessions. So why did I feel so empty? I just don’t understand how in a world filled with people it’s still possible to feel so alone. I just wanted someone to save me, but then I just wanted the world to leave me alone.