Why me.

I was in the kitchen when my mom called for me, she wanted me to pass her the pills she had to take after she ate. I sat down next to her after i passed them feeling exhausted and completely drained. I watched her hands shake as she slowly washed her pills down with water. It made me feel sad really seeing her like this but after 6 months of taking care of her you just feel hopeless and emotionless. My grandmother called this morning and we talked about how everything was going, she helps brighten my mood with all of this.. her and my boyfriend are the only ones that will talk to me now ever since helping my mother out. You see the rest of the family doesn't think i should be helping her because they think my mom brought herself to end up in the position she is and she should pay for the consequences alone but shes my mother, and i could never just abandon her like that. So because of that its been very lonely.. carlos my boyfriend comes over when i have time to entertain me but lately things just seem weird. I walk outside to get my mind of things i especially like it when the sky is gray and theres some cool wind in the air, because usually that means it will rain soon so no one is usually out so the streets are quiet. But this morning as i walked past the park i noticed 2 people sitting down laying in the grass, i envied them because i could hear their laughter from here. As i got closer my heart stopped and i was in shock. Was that carlos with that girl? My carlos. They were kind of far so i walked closer to make sure my eyes weren't lying to me. But i wish i wouldn't have because it was true it was him with that girl he was holding and at that very moment my heart broke to pieces, and tears ran down my face. He got up and turned around and looked at me in shock but before he could walk towards me i turned around and ran back home. I quickly went into my room and cried and just asked myself why? why would he do this. Especially when i need him the most. Like 2 years all in the trash. I sat there for a good hour crying then realized i needed to go check on my mother, I went into the bathroom washed my face and calmed down. I went into the kitchen and poured my mom some juice and sat and turned the tv on. I looked behind me and saw that there was small note sitting by the edge of the window from the outside. After reading it i knew it was over.. All i wanted at that moment was to die.