Its funny, now that I look at this picture, I realize how much times have changed. No longer do I have blonde hair, no longer does my dad have that athletic build, and no longer do my parents have the sweaters they are wearing in the picture. I could name a million changes that have happened to this picture, but the one that sticks out the most to me is the fact that I will never see my father hold my mother that way again. I was in sixth grade when I noticed a change in the behavior of my parents. They started to come home mad every time they went out with friends, and always fought over stupid little things. My dad called my mom mean names, and my mom screamed back in her little voice. Our house is thin, and I could hear every word. I never really noticed that anything was bad. My grandma always told me, “people fight because they care,” so to 11 year old me, it all seemed normal.
   Seventh grade, I got the news. Not from either of my parents, but from my babysitter that was a senior in highschool. She told me that my dad cheated on my mom. I was shocked, and didn’t believe it. For a few days I left it alone until I told my mom what she told me. When my mom clarified, I still denied it. My dad was my best friend, how could this be true? A few weeks went by and when I realized he was staying at his friends house, he was actually moving out. He always told us, “I’m just going to leave for a little and your mom and I have things to work out.” It didn’t make sense to me though, how can you work things apart when you're far away from someone? Thats when it all made sense. This was happening. That year I started going to therapy because I got into trouble with online things and they thought I was trying to do it for attention or to bring them together, which at the time it wasn’t. The more I think about it though, maybe that really was the case. Within 8 months I left, thinking things were fine. I was wrong.
   Eighth grade it became official. I had never seen my mother so depressed in my life. Her whole entire personality had flipped. I was nervous, I had never seen her the way she was. Trembled when she spoke, woke up later, became more busy to keep her mind off things. I became her only help, and that made me a second mother to my siblings. She started school again to get her degree in nonprofits, and looked for jobs. I helped her with presentations. A few months went by and she starting meeting people. Very strict in her relationships, she was slowly learning to date again, as it had been 15 years. I had also hit a crisis with my life at that point. It seemed everything in my life that I thought was constant, was leaving me and losing my trust, turning its back on me. Eighth grade was my favorite, but hardest year of my life. My dad had gotten divorced and remarried in a span of 9 months. I ask him things about it today, trying to make sense of his side of the story, but it just doesn’t make sense to me. It makes me wonder if dad will ever get my full trust again.
   My favorite memory of my dad is jumping on his bed singing U2 songs with him while my mom laughed at us. I was maybe 6. It still shocks me to this day how quickly my life changed, and how fast someone can lose trust in someone they loved for so long. Freshman year, wasn’t good for me at all. I knew no one, because I came from public school, and everyone already had their cliques. I met one girl, who introduced me to three others. I knew all of five people, not including my two teammates from cheerleading, as the rest of them went to mags. My grades began to struggle and added to the stress of having that perfect freshman year. I also ended my first relationship that I held for a year. It was the hardest year of my life. I got caught up in lies and school and I had a lot of built up anger and frustration. All of that landed me back in therapy. My mom always said that when she started therapy, it saved her life. My mom is the strongest person I know. She now has a stable job, a loving boyfriend, and is so happy. We may have our differences, but she is my hero.
   That brings me to today. Sophomore year, sitting here and writing this. I still wonder to this day if he ever regrets it, what he was thinking, why this happened. I try to let it go though, because theres no reason to hold onto something that is done and gone. Feeling is apart of people, if you don’t feel, you don’t live. You are stuck in constant desperation and sadness, and trust me, it took this long to get here, but being happy is so much more worth it. People think, “shes a cheerleader. Her life is great.” but thats as far from the truth as it could ever be. I still go to therapy for depression, I still have pain when my brother asks little things. I always look for positives now though. I have positive quotes all over my room to keep me motivated when I don’t feel like getting out of bed, my a room completely designed by myself, a beautiful veiw, my brother and sister even when I seem to hate them. I have an amazing boyfriend, a great mother, a dad that always reminds me he loves me, even when all I want to hear are answers, a nice stepmom, a great kinda step dad, and a team that is bound to win states soon. I finally made honors, and get to sing and record the things I love.
   So to conclude this whole story of my life, always look up. I went from a naive fifth going into sixth grader, to a changed and new person in sophomore year of highschool, and I thank God every day for that. No one in this picture may ever be the same again, but its the lessons we learn and the relationships we grow that make the memories of the picture mean a thousand words. Life is bound to change no matter how bad you don’t want it to or how scary it is. Learn to go with the flow and know that, “God has the night shift, don’t stay up trying to figure out your life, hes got it covered.” -anonymous.