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I fell in love once. I met Charlie during a time in my life when I thought I had no one. He brought me happiness. I thought he was my prince charming and that years from now we would be married. He would say amazing words and do unforgettable actions that always put my head in some fantasy. However, as our relationship went farther, I kept losing myself to him.

I believe in self-expression. Your body is your own temple so you can do whatever you want with it. When Charlie and I first met, my hair was green and I had two lip piercings on my face. I dressed how I felt that day, so a lot of the time my hair was put into a messy bun and I dressed in pajamas. After being with each other for about four months, he started commenting on my hair and lip piercings. He kept telling me how much he didn’t like them and how I should dye my hair and get rid of the piercings. For a while I said no because these were part of who I was. But after a while, I decided to change it. I dyed my hair a solid color and took out my piercings. I lost part of myself when I did that, but he smiled and told me I looked better that way. A few months later, he started commenting on how I dressed. We would spend most of our time in his house watching television, so I never thought it was necessary to get all dressed up. When I walked through the door, he started saying how horrible I looked and that I needed to take better care of myself. He threw away some of my favorite band shirts. I decided then to just dress more how he wanted me to, even though I was super unconformable trying to lie on a bed with tight jeans on.

I believe in music that has real meaning behind it, not just lyrics about smoking weed or messing around with girls. We were in the car one day and I connected my phone to the radio and played one of my favorite songs. He took my phone off and told me the song was crap. He then switched my phone with his and played a song about smoking weed. He told me I should start listening to more of his music, the music that “people our age actually listen to.” I nodded my head and agreed just to make him happy. The whole car ride, he went on and on about how his music was better than mine and how I needed to develop a better taste. Later that day, I let him switch all the music I loved on my phone with his music. I never listened to music on my phone for months and never dared touched the car radio any time we were in it together again.

I believe in having success and making sure that your future career is in reach. Charlie had just graduated high school when we got together and I was more than proud of him. However as the summer started to end quickly, he had no plan with his life. He didn’t even try to sign up for college. I would tell him how great I was doing in school and that he should get started on his next step in education. He would just nod his head and tell me he would get to it. I got a job and started spending less time with him. I told him he should get one too, but after getting fired three times, he didn’t try anymore. He just started smoking a lot, and I hated it. I hate smoking so much because it’s overrated and people think it is some cure to life when it isn’t. I kept begging him to stop, but he just kept telling me that this is who he was and he wouldn’t change for me.

Reality hit me when he said those words to me. Here I was, changing my appearance, my opinions, and settling for less just for him, but he couldn’t even try to change for me. It wasn’t worth it anymore. Who you are is too important, and if you have to change yourself to be with someone, they just aren’t worth it. When you choose to love someone, you choose to love them, for who they are, not who you want them to be. You fall in love because of the simple things, like a smile and the way their eyes brighten up when they talk about something they love. Because of Charlie, I lost myself for a long time. Every day I spent in that relationship, I was becoming more depressed, but I never knew why. When I broke up with him, it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I no longer had a fear of not being good enough. Never let anyone make you fear not being good enough, because you will always be worthy for someone who truly loves you.



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Grand_ImperfectionsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 28 at 12:31 pm:
I had a guy like that. He was wow... He was there when no one was. Today, he still is but we are no longer together, but really close friends. Although I do not love him in the same manner, I can still thnk of him and say, "Yea.. he loved me." and therer will always be a part of me that will always be in love with him because he loved me so hard through all my monsters and rainbows.
 
Grand_ImperfectionsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 28 at 12:32 pm :
but he wasn't a bad influence on me... he is the most amazing guy.
 
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