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He is a black stallion in a hallway full of alluring white horses. They shine with life and glow of laughter, perched against the white walls and green lockers. They cling to each other’s arms and shout too loud because what they’re saying is not interesting enough as it is. Some whisper to appear like they want secrets to be kept secrets but everyone knows that is not the case. And then there he is, dark and full of untold secrets. I watch him turn up his music and readjust his earphones; as if they aren’t far enough in his ears already. He doesn’t want to be here. Or maybe, I think, he’d rather be here than his alternative. I watch him a lot, he is mesmerizing. He does not talk to me or anyone around let alone rumor of us. He cares of no one, maybe not even himself. And even though his eyes are sunken in by gray and his skin a pale olive, there is something beautiful and bewitching about him. Something fascinating in the mystery of a person. Never have I heard his name in the carousel cycle of rumors, all I know of him is from my own evidence. He has little friends and the ones he does have are just like the rest of us; too bad to be good, too good to be evil. It is a revelation when I see him outside of school; I remember then and only then that he is not a ghost. I wonder if he disappeared what the rumors would be, if any at all. You see I am conflicted and do not understand this rumor mill. I have had rumors of myself whispered and they did me no justice. They do no one justice, except the ones who start them. For a few seconds while the words are passing between your lips you are important. It is one of the only things in high school you can pass around without having to take responsibility of what you started. And I also wonder why some people have piles of rumors about themselves while some have none. Even some of the most beloved girls in our school are strapped with some kind of ugly, bitter rumor, while some walk around freely with none. How do these people who dish out rumors select their victims? And then I wonder why he has none? Enough mystery surrounds him it could easily be done. He is complex and that makes him an easy target, full of reasonable rumors anyone could vomit. Yet they do not. Maybe they only make rumors of people, who matter to them, gossip formed by jealousy and other nonsense, people who are dangerous, therefore he must not threaten them. Even the truest of gossip is gossip and is weak. If you start a rumor it shows weakness, something loved by our sensitive society today. Something nowadays seen as different and unique in our society is our weaknesses. When did it become ‘cool’ to get bad grades, drink too much and make rumors about those we feel are superior? Weaknesses should be hidden, worked on and disposed of, not coddled and applauded for, not pitied. As a society I believe we baby others into thinking they are unique when they are not. I wonder how many rumors as hidden behind closed doors or just waiting to be told. I wonder when the next one will be ‘accidentally’ spilled. I wonder if someone cares so little or so much of me to expose true or false gossip of my life, to draw attention to me. Maybe I will start one next, maybe.

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PercyBaum said...
Nov. 16, 2014 at 10:51 pm
I love it! Thank you for sharing this!!!!
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