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Apple Pie

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The sweet, spicy, fragrance of baking apples wafts through the house slowly. If you’ve ever dipped a covered paintbrush in water, you’ll understand. The aroma swirls slowly through the air, at first barely to be seen, but growing, penetrating every obsolete corner until the house is bursting with the warm, cinnamon fragrance.

This is the hardest period. The period of waiting. The seconds tick by, too slowly for my sister and I to bear. We can’t resist running to the oven to check on the pie every five minutes. Don’t you think this is enough? We say. Do you think it might burn? The apples are bubbling, is that okay? God forbid anything happens that will take our apple pie away from us.

The cacophonous beeping of the oven is music to our ears. As we open the oven, the rich, sweet smell of pie explodes in our nostrils, with the hot oven air. Unable to wait for mom, we carry the pie out ourselves, hands covered in fluffy mitts, with as much precision and care as a surgeon. We can’t have anything going wrong at this stage, can we? But cutting it out is a job for mom. We satisfy ourselves by staring at it, and fleetingly touching the chaotic lattice of lightly baked, golden crust covering the apples. Finally, mom arrives, our own divine intervention.

As she cuts through the hot, dense layers, smoke spirals out, rising high, but our eyes don’t flick away from the pie. Two pieces are cut for my sister and me, under our eagle eyes. Only after we approve that the two pieces are unequivocally of the same size do we hold out cups out. Mom lifts the slice out on a knife, the apples browned, jelly-like, juicy, the crust wobbling a little. The slices don’t hold and they fall apart a little, but for my sister and myself, it’s all about the taste. Mom transfers them into our waiting bowls without dropping even a crumb. Some skills seem to be acquired only on reaching motherhood.

We each occupy a corner of the house, alone, delicacy in hand at last. . As I dig my spoon into the apple pie, it breaks the pie crust, but cuts smoothly into the apples. All at once, I can’t wait any more, put the spoon into my mouth. As I bite, flavours and textures burst out, exploding like fireworks in the night sky.
The crust is crispy and flaky, contrasting wonderfully with the soft, gooey apples. Cinnamon, nutmeg, add layers of zest and zing. It is an orchestra with different instruments playing different layers of a lively song, where all the sounds come together to produce a harmonious melody.
Warmth spreads through my body like a wave of comfort washing over me. It transports me into a place of cool breezes that raise goose bumps along my arm, of apples growing plump in the orchard, of leaves of every colour floating through the air.

I dig my spoon in, impatient for more. Flavours dance in my mouth, mingling with each other, but yet each one distinct. By the time I realize it, my slice is finished, every crumb licked off my cup.



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JRayeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 18 at 3:56 pm:
I’m officially inspired – an apple pie is officially going in my oven tonight :D! This is so beautiful, your descriptions amazing yet simple, which works very well together. It came out so honestly, so purely, not daring anyone to question your family’s passion for apple pie. :)
 
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DaniJo519 said...
Apr. 17 at 5:23 pm:
You obviously have a great knack for description! It was vivid and you didn't just harp on one sense, you hit them all. Like sensory overload (in a beyond perfect way) I suppose the only thing I'd say is that it didn't really have a point. And many can argue with me, and that's okay, that writing doesn't have to have a point, but I think it should. And I think yours did, or rather it did but you did no emphasize it as much as you could've! My absolute favorite line was "some skills are only acq... (more »)
 
KaavyaMThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 18 at 2:51 am :
Woah, thank you! That's so great to hear. And thanks for the constructive criticism, that's a good point. I'll definitely try to incorporate it.
 
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_Zavery_This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 17 at 12:14 pm:
My mouth is watering and I want apple pie but I dont have any D: Amazingly written poem, and good use of description. you took a simple idea and expanded it into a whole, very descriptive article. well done!
 
KaavyaMThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 18 at 2:48 am :
Wow, you're amazing, thank you!
 
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Wondering_About_InfinityThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 11 at 1:46 am:
I. Am. Drooling. Drooling like a one year old.  You've described your mother's apple pie so vividly, so precisely and poetically. Wow. Your prose is beautiful. My only criticism is that not much happens in this writing. It's basically a description of a fabulous pie, but I don't know, I feel like the writing could use a little ba-boom.  Seriously though- INCREDIBLE! 
 
KaavyaMThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 16 at 9:41 pm :
I LOVE YOU. Thank you so much, that's great feedback. I'll definitely try to make it a little more ba-boom.
 
AuthorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Apr. 18 at 12:55 am :
Seriously, I enjoyed every bit of the description. The method you have undertaken to explain even the tiniest feature so vividly, is to be greatly appreciated. It induces a sensation of reality as well. Great!  
 
KaavyaMThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 18 at 2:47 am :
Thank you so much! I really appreciate this.
 
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