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I'm Still Growing

GI woke up an hour early. I was too excited. I instantly jumped from my bed and went straight to check my desk. I knew what would find there. A rose, a chocolate and a card inside a cute pink envelope with ‘happy birthday’ written on it along with a smiley, all arranged in a very methodical way. My eyes brightened, every time I received that card. Tough I was used to receiving this present every year, I always used to open it like I received it for the first time. It never failed to make me feel special and always lit my face with a hundred watt smile. Right from the very start of my day, I was made to feel special. It was my birthday. It was my day. I had turned eight. “…you’re a big girl now, Mer. We are proud of you. Love, Mom and Dad.” The big girl tag made me feel how big being eight was. I was looking forward to the rest of the day. I was excited about the gifts, the cake, the birthday song, the party and everything the day had to offer me. After all, I was a big eight year old girl.

It’s my 16th today. I am happy. Not about the fact that I’m 16 now, but about the fact that I have indeed grown mature. The day is not just restricted to celebrating the number, but much more than that. It’s the day that I look back at my life and realize what I was and what I have become. I am a much better, much smarter and a much more mature person than I was before. I look back at those embarrassing moments which felt like an eternity back then, I look back at those occasional C grades with meant like the end of life when I was 8, I look back at those silly fights with my friends and siblings over so-called ‘important issues’ and I look back to everything that has changed me and made me what I am today. And I feel proud of myself. The wrong decisions that taught me lessons for life, and the right ones which signified my maturation. The scares of my previous experiences still remain, but I don’t cry looking at them anymore, I feel strong instead. They now remind me how I have survived some of the worst moments of my life.

I realize how the person inside me and the persons around me have changed. The people I’m not friends with anymore, and the people who now are a part of my life. I miss some of them while I’m also proud of my decisions to part ways from some. I realize how I have made new habits and changed old ones. My birthday is about the celebration of my life. It shows my story till now.

“…You’re growing into a beautiful mature lady, Mer. We are proud of you. Love, Mom and Dad.” Said the card this time. And I realized I’m just 16. I’ve still got to learn alot, get more scares, make decisions and make a lot more memories. I’m just 16. There’s still lot to come, and I’m ready to experience it all. I’m still growing.



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