As I looked into your eyes, I could now see the lies, you knew me but you pretended not to. You were the fisherman, and I was the fish, and you railed me in with a big juicy worm, which was our first kiss. I thought you liked me too. But what seemed like bliss ended in tears, leaving me with nothing but a “good night.” With a blade in my hand I finally let my pain show, and all you could do was sleep. Drowning once more I looked for a way out, perhaps with some pills and a swish of vodka.

As I relearn how to swim, I began to strengthen, but every once in a while I find myself falling for the same trap I fell for ages ago. My scars are now healing, but my mind is still pealing trying to uncover all the answers that deep down I know will remain forever unknown. I know I do not need you; I no longer ache for your presence. But I feel if I ever spoke another syllable to you my mind would give in. But I know that I would regret it.

I used to tell you that you were perfection; truth is you’re not even close. I guess we were just both lonely. Even though I am now over you, a part of me will always want you to want me once more. Even if it was all a lie.