Hurt and Damaged

July 8, 2013
By , Haysville, KS
I know what it’s like to be hurt and trampled. When I was younger, I did have a very low self-esteem. Not only was I being bullied at school, but I was also having a lot of home ad family problems. People always called me a nerd, dork and so many more things. I used to have to visit the counselor everyday due to my home problems, this just made things worse with the students at school.

Eventually we moved away, I got a new start, but everything got a bit worse. I was the new girl. I survived the rest of the year and my family problems sort of faded. Meanwhile, I was still alone. I had no one. That summer, I got a hair cut, changed my look, and my attitude. I got more friends. I was still myself, just couldn't tell them how I felt. What happened. There was only one girl I trusted. I figured if I showed the real me, looked how I always wanted to look, people would stop calling me names. They just turned around and changed nerd, to s***.

To this day I am still verbally bullied. I understand that people will try and push you down. There will always be people in the world that will want to hurt you, and try to bring you down. That one girl, my best friend, turned out to be one of those people. She started spreading rumors around school about me. I started ignoring her. It hurt because she was the only person I had allowed myself to get close to in years.

Soon enough, we started talking again, but she seemed to get mad at me every time I didn't tell her something. One week, I found out that my best friend from my home town had committed suicide. It came as a shock to me. I didn't go to school the rest of the week, and I didn't talk to anyone for almost a month. It hurt knowing that the sweet, innocent girl I knew could be driven to do such a thing. She didn't like the fact I refused to tell her why I was so upset.

It makes me so mad and pained inside to know someone can do that to another person. It made me sick to think that those were the same kids that used to pick on me, too. No one should ever be drove to the edge. They might not think it matters much to call people names and to tell them to go and kill themselves, but until you've been told that, you won’t know how it feels.

I will never tell anyone to go and hurt themselves, kill themselves, to die. I know how it feels for those things to been said to you, not only by kids, but grown adults. My friends. Today, I finally understand why there are so many stay strong quotes. They provide comfort for the hurt and damaged minds. Minds like mine.

Through all this, even everything that continues today. I can manage a smile. Everything will get better. There is always another day, and if people are so confident about making you feel bad, it’s probably because they’re jealous of your happiness. I won’t ever stoop to those people levels. I know that it can hurt, and just because they treat me like I’m at the bottom of the food chain, does not mean I am. I’m proud of who I am now, and my past has shaped me. It has taught me lessons, and helped me learn from my mistakes. Just because I don’t have a great past, does not mean I can’t have a amazing future. Happy Living! ?

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