The sound builds in rhythm with my chest rising and falling. Haphazard gulps disrupt the composer’s deliberate melody as I hold back tears. In that moment, and in that moment alone, I understand sadness. Playing my sorrow to rest, the pianist continues the lullaby. Sweeping crescendos and decrescendos leave despondent passion in my mind. My heart tightens with every peak, and a sigh of relief always follows. Empathetic tears reflect night’s glimmer, and Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata surrounds me.

I listen to the melody, and I am so consumed that I begin to drift into a state of unconsciousness. Every note on the piano is another piece of a puzzle that only a genius could assemble. No other song can send me to such a place of tormenting bliss. Though the hurt he so eloquently plays is his own, he allows me to experience a glimpse. In just over six minutes, Beethoven delivers me to another world entirely. The Moonlight Sonata becomes a cave and I, the diver. I drop further into darkness. My mind travels so far down that sinking and swimming grow interchangeable. Long after hope wishes me luck and returns to the surface, I find Beethoven’s treasure at the bottom of his sea. The Moonlight Sonata’s gem is not its darkness but its light. It forces the sad to revisit their sadness and find their light.

It’s the key that troubles me, and that’s what I like most. C sharp minor. Impossible to play. Strange to hear. The sound reminds me of a crooked picture frame, begging to be straightened. All I hear are melodies. Words are useless in Beethoven’s world. Anything but music fogs my window into his utopia. But, this work means so much more to me than just complicated chords and a wordless language. When I’m sad, the Sonata offers comfort in the knowledge that I am not alone. There must be another who feels my sadness ten-fold, another like Beethoven.
Every listen is a new snowflake, uniquely cut, carrying my spirit on a new path as it drifts through the air. Yet, the third movement awes me every time. Why am I so mesmerized? I remind myself that it’s simply a sonata. A piece Beethoven composed before fate so cruelly stole his ability to hear. But I’ve listened to his symphonies and his concertos; I’ve listened to them all. The Moonlight Sonata touches my soul in a way nothing and no one else can. It is a doorway to a world in which I am not alone. His 14th Sonata is a friend: my sad companion. If ever I am in need of perspective, the sonata gives me just that. Listening to this masterpiece of the night, I am reminded of my blessings and comforted by my happiness.