Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

How you Should and Shouldn't End a Relationship

There are many things that go wrong in a relationship. Some you can work out and some you simply cannot. Some people make problems to end the relationship considering they can’t say those simple words, “I think we should break up”. Some people will fight to save a relationship even if those two people are the worst two people for each other. Every person that has been in a relationship knows at one moment you have thought, “should I really be with this person?” What do you do if you’re feeling that way? Do you go talk to them about how your feeling or do you just keep to yourself? Well if you keep it to yourself for too long you’ll never know the answer you’re seeking. If you go out and tell them they might just take it the wrong way and end the relationship right there. So you’re really stuck in hard place. Do you do it or not? If you don’t tell them and keep it to yourself you’ll make yourself sick because it’s not healthy to keep your feelings all bottled up. So what do you do? You most likely end the relationship because you don’t know what else to do. How you end it will determine if you and your ex will remain friends or if they’ll hate your guts.
We all know the last thing you want to hear from someone your about to break up with is “but I will still love you even if we aren’t together”. Well as a result now you have to worry about “is this guy stalking me today” or “will I have to get a restraining order?” The way to stop that from happening is to bring up to them why you don’t want to be in that relationship anymore and maybe they’ll understand. Also they might not stalk you after all. You can bring up something that really bothered you that the other person did. Just remember no one can love everything about another person because no one is perfect. Don’t make the mistake and bring up little things like “I don’t like how you chew your food” or “you never scratch my back when I asked”. Considering that’s what you want use when you break up with them I’m pretty sure they will think you’re acting like a child and you can’t look beyond little things. But if there are multiple things that bother you about the other person that really add up then they probably weren’t your soul mate anyways and you most likely should end it. As a result little things do add up and end up making bigger problem. It’s better if you become friends before you have a bad break up and really can’t stand the other person.
Another thing people say when you’re breaking up with them is “I can change I promise” and most of the time you’ll get back with them. You trusted them to change and in my opinion 25% of people will change. But that other 75% of people don’t change because as humans we don’t like to change and we choose not to. Then when you tell them again you should break up they will most likely use that line again “I will change”. I would hope you realize that if they didn’t change the first time they won’t do it the second time you ask them. If you continue getting back with them after you gave them that second chance they will continually keep using that line until they “win” you back again every time. It’s not a good idea to take them back. If there was a big problem in the first place and you gave them that second chance and they used it, but didn’t learn from the mistake they don’t deserve you after all.
Be casual don’t try to make it a big deal out of the situation. Don’t try to make them feel bad even if that’s what they deserve. You want to be mature about the whole situation and be the bigger person if you have to. If this was me I would try my hardest to make sure that I was calm and tried to be nice because I don’t want him to hate me. Some people become friends with their ex’s all the time because they didn’t make a big deal about their break up. A big thing you need to make sure you do is don’t lie and say “it’s not you it’s me” or “I really want to work on my career right now” because you’re giving them false hope. But don’t be mean about it either and say “I never wanted to be in this relationship anyways”. Just tell them the truth and everything should turn out okay unless you’re dating some person that is completely insanely in love with you and takes thing way out of proportion. But the moral of the story is that you want to be a calm mature person about everything because you’ll feel better after you do it and not feel like a complete idiot.

Like every break up there are things people probably should and shouldn’t do when they break up with someone. Well here are some pointers that are the “do’s and don’ts” on breaking up with someone. So always tell the truth of why you want to break up with them, if you already given them a second chance don’t go back to them again because they chose to prove to you that they can’t change or won’t. Always be the bigger person when you’re breaking up with them. If you always do those three things and breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend will be really easy and not as hard as you thought. On the plus side, your ex most likely won’t hate you in the end.



Join the Discussion

This article has 1 comment. Post your own now!

reader said...
Apr. 30, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Dear G-abby, Thank you for your good advice.
 
Site Feedback