Just One more Day, I just Couldn't be there

March 24, 2013
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There was a day in the last December when I had my greatest regret, when I experienced a huge hatred towards my family (momentarily) and the day I shed tears till the last drop possible.


1st December, the day where it all begins. I couldn't have gone earlier due to my examination. Hence 1st December is the only day I can make a move to visit my ailing grandmother at another state that are more than 240km away from my house. I arrive. There are people gathered at the house. All my aunts and uncle had arrived. All saying their prayer to wish the best health or lessen the pain and suffering of my grandmother.
I stood at the door. Standing still as if the world around me have stop spinning, stand in an emotional state that all my memories with my dear grandma gushed rapidly inside my brain. I cried and hugs my parents to calm myself.
I stayed by my grandma side all the time. Feed her. Clean her. Cared for her. Guide her with prayers.

2nd December.
My grandma is still the same. She's in her late eighties. All thought to just accompany her until her death. I swear to myself that I'll be by her side till the last breath she takes.
However, that evening she suddenly has her appetite back. Eats and drinks normally like before. Still look weak but her cheeks redden. In my heart state that my prayers for her have been answered.

3rd December.
I want to stay another day. It is just simply to monitor my grandma's well-being but my parents said she'll be fine. They want to go back home today. I take my stand and argues that I want to stay another day. They still want to go home.
My aunt who will stay with my grandma also convince me that everything will be fine. If anything happened, she'll contact us.
As I am convinced by other parties, I agreed with my parents to make a move. Since I have been staying all night-all day for 3 days and 2 nights, when I arrive home, I headed for the bed and fall asleep as if there is no tomorrow.

4th December
A phone rang and wakes me up from bed. The phone is just outside my room. I heard my mum's voice. Out of nowhere, I hear father's voice as well. They started crying. A thought went across my mind, but I just don't want to believe it.
What I feared the most has become a reality. Grandma is dead, her last breath was 10 minutes ago.

I packed my bag hurriedly and s does my parents. We head out to make sure we can make it to her funeral.

Again.....It was TOO late.
Her funeral was completed when we arrive and I still couldn't believe what happened. I cried till my eyes red, hurting so much that no more tears are flowing out.
I experienced a huge hatred towards my parents. Just one more day, I just couldn't be there.
My parents is still my parents. I started talking to them slowly after a week of silence towards them.

However, there is still a hole inside my heart.

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