What were you afraid of when you were seven? Did you worry about if your parents would be there to comfort you when you got scared?
I learned at the young sprouting age of seven that life isn't fair and we are only on this earth for a certain amount of time.

It was June 21 2005 and I had just got home from the playground at the end of my street.Right when I walked in, my mom was on me about how my room wasn't clean. So, very slowly and hesitantly, I started cleaning it. While I was cleaning of my chest, the phone rang. Sure enough. my mom answered it. I could tell by her face that this was not an ordinary phone call. At that time I didn't know it would change me forever. After a few minutes she came to the doorway of my brother's room jumping up and down like she was crazy. After doing this a few times, she started putting words to her crazy actions by saying "DADDY IS DEAD" over and over. Now, if you have ever went through a close relative or friend dying,you know these words are hard to comprehend. After a few times of her doing this, I realized my daddy was dead. I would never see him again on this earth. I would never see his face or hear his voice comfort me in the night. I knew my life was never going to be the same. I realized I didn't have a daddy anymore. Right after the phone call, she called EVERYONE, but first her father, my grandpa, to come and watch me and my twelve year old brother while she went to the hospital to see my daddy for the last and final time before the funeral.I can remember silence; shock in everyone's faces. I kept running into my dad and mom's room screaming and bawling my eyes out just wanting my daddy back wondering why the hell God would do this to a good little seven year old. Why me?

It turns out, my dad was just simply in the break room at work, were he normally took naps and was able to wake up in time. He never woke up. Someone came in to "wake him up" and that was who called my mom. I remember my pastor came to talk to us at our house about a day after. The next day or two are blank; I don't remember anything from then. Perhaps me, my mom, and my brother sat in our rooms all day crying or maybe even in the living room in each other's arms.What I do remember is the funeral that happened about two days after.

We, of course, came about an hour earlier to the funeral (one of the few times my family is early). I remember so clearly walking up to my daddy's casket as a 7 year old girl and just crying asking God why he would do such a thing! Why would he take a girl away from her daddy.
Everyone came and it was mostly a blur except I do remember someone giving me and my brother a gift. We went outside and played with our silly putty that was enclosed in this gift. All in pure silence.

The days that followed, and even now, are hard. Me and my mom would fight all the time. We lost that mother-daughter relationship; I took all of my anger out on her!

I also have some random memories of this time.

Like, going to VBS (Vacation Bible School) the day after he died and getting a bible and cards that I still have.

My mom had all the people that worked with my daddy write about there memories in a book. I have learned a lot about my father by reading that.

I remember wanting to not tell people because I thought they would feel bad for me.

I remember sobbing with my mother at church the following Sunday where our church family just hugged us and embraced us.

I remember literally writing, on paper, a letter to God begging him for just one more day with him.

But, most of all, I remember all the fun memories I had of him.I got to spend 7 years of my life with him and I wouldn't replace that little part of my life for anything in the world!

Please, just remember, life is short, so don't spend it hating people and fighting because you might just wake up one day and they won't be there.

So, I am afraid of my family members and friends dying. That started when I was 7 and haunts me everyday!

After my dad died,a few months later, my dad's father died. One year later, my cousin committed suicide (also on my dad's side). One year later my dad's mom got cut off life support on my birthday. And every year I am afraid of who is next.