Aubrey and Lydia

February 19, 2013
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The pain of the day overcomes everything that I cannot deal. The angel of peace takes control over me and a faint whisper of hope drifts into the painful shadows. Then follows me everywhere I go. Never have I cared the least and hurt the most. Thank you! Thank you Aubrey for robbing me. Thank you for reminding me that I can smile. Thank you for deceiving me. Thank you for assassinating me. I was assassinated, for I would have done great things if great things hadn't happened to me.
Never till this point in time had I cared more than I should. The bitter hope that love would soon find its way into my heart and the strength of that hope and added endurance made me stronger. My strength
withers when I see his dark eyes, that intensely conceal his true intent on me; his tall stature, that shows the height of his intelligence and independence. Everything you believe about him is WRONG!
I was special which was told to me by him and he announced it. Proclaimed it in fact. He said that I have my own and what's mine is his. We were one and at one point paired together through gods eyes; but, even the all knowing god could not see the lie, nor the violation of which was dangerously close to my
happiness and the violator at that same distance.
She sang angelic, melodic questions into my ear, blinding my mind and coaxing my heart. Who? Who have you attached yourself too and given your utmost hopes and aspirations to? Why? Why have you
chosen a man so far off your rank? So far out of your way? She sauntered off into the silence of the gloom whispering lies into the wind. I had to put forth tolerance of her ignorance of proverbial words.
I was robbed of my purity, my promise, and my passion. After luring me into her lair and shredding all articles of clothing, she then began beating down to the ground with her verbal whip. Penetrating my safe keeping's and emotions; which I held so dearly to me. I say I did not cry, which is a prominent lie since I
did it all the way through. I felt bare, naked, swollen, and blue. Thank you. Thank you Lydia for being the one to show me the light. Thank you for not killing but merely leading me down the path of my own destruction. Thank you for taking everything I had ever worked for and hoped for; all things you have no
use for. Thank you for rapping me.
I had lost everything including my heart and I don't think anything was more painful than that. He had to emphasize that 'we' would never be. I think that's when I died. I think that's when I permitted all things to go to the wicked. Though I crawled and jerked and worked my way towards the light I could never really
see it. Forever displaced and forever a blurry the light would never be clear.
I have been hurt in a way unimaginable and I've cried so many tears that a river imprints my cheeks. I have cried so much that I can't seem to find myself to cry anymore. The hope dwindling within me no longer strong, but weak tearing apart my heart. I don't think I will ever be able to break this bond, this hold, he has with me, but I must. In order to love again, live again, and be able to be born again ...

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