why my life | Teen Ink

why my life

December 13, 2012
By ashyloves BRONZE, Harrisburg, Oregon
ashyloves BRONZE, Harrisburg, Oregon
3 articles 1 photo 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
i don't blend in and i am proud


let me tell you a story. Its about a southern bell. she has the most beautiful smile. her hair is curly and a strawberry blonde color, aleast ehrn she dyes it. she is 5ft 2" and has a sweet laughter. her pesonality is bold, independent but she can be stubburn at some times. not quite what you would call a straight A student bu any means.
she lives in a very beautiful town. when the weather station say "there is a 10% chance of rain today." most people will run looking for shelter. but not this southern bell. she stands in the rain and dances. there is a ver pretty veiw of the mountains. you can hear the middle school tweens laugh as they get told some lame joke. you can hear girls screaming as they are being chased by their boyfriends and falling in the grass together. on a fall day the southern bell loves being held in the arms of the cold air as it plays with her hair. but in the middle of all this beauty the southern blue eyed bellhas a very deep secret that one day she will tell her parents. she needs to tell them that she is gay. when she was 5 her parents got a divorce. so weekend parent exchanges were not uncommon for her. listening to her mother yell into the phone was a regular occuence.
when she was in 5th grade thats when it hit her that she was different. there was a new girl and she had this feeling of "crushing". the blue eyed girl was falling in love with a girl named Dusty. but she didn't know it yet.
one day at her mother's house she asked to have dusty over. her mom said yes. so the bell showed dusty here mom's peaceful and safe house. they could look out the window and see the others playing in the mud and could hear them laughing. she showed dusty the white picket fence aroud the yard and her beloved animal she needed to stay alive. it was a bay colored pitbull. after eating lunch the blue eyed girl showed dusty the rest of the farm. she showed her the cows and the horses. the goats and the sheep. and the pigs chickens and rabbits. that day ment so much to those girls.
that weekend the southern bell had to go to her fathers house. that was a way different place than her mother's. you walk in and see a cage that can hold 2 ferrets. if you looked to your right you saw a mattress on the floor for her, her brother, and her sister to all sleep on. look to your left and you can see a table that can bearly hold 3 people let alone 4. abve that was a window. but nothing pretty out of it. there was a dying tree with a dog tied to it barking. a flower bed with no flowers. on day the little girl was looking out the dreadful window. her clothes all torn and dirty. she didn't know weather to cry or hold in her emotions. she started to cry. watching the dog go from clear to fuzzy. she could smell the beer and cigarettes and finally she hear her father. so she ran.
a few years later she got adopted and she was so happy. she was in 7th grade and living life like kids should. dusty had moved backbut this time she had long straight brown hair. bright green eyes and a laugh that made the southern bell fall in love with. ever since 5th grade she and dusty were best friends. if one got bored then they would both go for a walk down but the rocky brown river. dusty would talk about how much she hates her mom and how she is hooked on so many drugs. but the southern bell would jsut sit there and listen as dusty talked and talked.finally one day in the 8th grade the blue eyed girl told dusty how she felt about her. they kissed and from there on they were forever each others.
when the girl was a freshmen, dusty had moved in with her and her family. she helped dusty get clean and got her back into school. the girls loved it because they were each others and knew it was forever. but one day the bell's friends wanted to meet dusty. so her friends walked her home, but dusty was now were in sight. the blue eyed girl searched and searched. finally she found her in a near by town. dusty was doing drugs again. they called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital. the freshmen snuck out of her house to see her beloved girlfriend for the last time before she closed her eyes forever.
afer about 2 years of being single and not having faith that love will find her again. the southern girl a walk around her home town. taking in the smell of Dari-marts coffee and the chinese food accross town. the blue eyed junior has spent awhile thinking about her life. she has been thinking about that dreadful day at her dad's house. and that bullshit day at the hospital. in the juniors last moments se thinks about how her mother would hate to see her daughter dead. she blams her father for making her gay. but yet at the same time thanks him because if it weren't for him, she would have never found dusty. before the junior jumped from the cliff along side the river she said these words "mommy i love you, and daddy can go to hell." she jumped hitting the water with a big splash. she can now be able to spend the rest of her life with the one she loves


The author's comments:
when people talk about deaththey don't understand how hard it is to watch as some one's eyes turn form green to chocolate brown.

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