First Commitment

December 8, 2012
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As the sun peered above the green horizon glistening with Morning’s frost, my fever subsided to mere warmth in my cheeks. This warmth would intensify once my body and mind awakened to the thought of a boy anticipating and desiring to spend the evening with me. As the day progressed, the nerves began to set in. My heartbeat raced each time my mind began to wander off into a vivid dream of happiness and glee. The time was set and I hastily readied my outer shell while my core remained malleable and uneasy. Finally the time came for me to depart on this wondrously new and exhilarating adventure. However, the fear of displeasure overtook me in the final moments and I rushed back to familiar comfort in pursuit of a photograph of simpler times. Times where love and happiness were not sought after but calmly came in with each tide and flew on the feathers of whistling blue birds. Thoughts of such escaped from my pores as dry heat blew upon my face and the stars above raced the whirling tires below. His worried expression was layered upon the anxieties of a young child embarking on the path to greater knowledge. I felt timid and vulnerable as my reluctant feet took the first step towards his lingering gaze. My complexion paled until his hand reached out to meet mine while we sat enveloped in darkness, yet aglow by the fluorescent screen before us. I did not dare look to my side so as to not give away the rosiness that had crept from my chest with each throb of my heart. Exchanging embarrassed grins was a comfort to me and my jovial nature began to resurface. My mind swam with thoughts of future nights during which our fingers would remain intertwined and the smell of his proximity would not be erased. Steps away from the bitterness of the world, his golden eyes melted into pools of hopefulness that poured directly into my own. His words shook as they escaped from between weathered lips and his hands clutched one another for support. My compassion towards this boy turned into a strong desire that was to last, so when he asked if I would always fill the spaces between his fingers, I willingly responded with: yes.

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