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Secrets

So many unfortunate things happen in our lives, but that’s just the way life goes. Some may lose close relatives, a pet, or their parents get a divorce. About two months ago, my mom was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer. She had the surgery to remove the cancer, but neither her or my father told me anything about the cancer. They waited to see if the surgery was a success to tell me.

Then about four weeks after that, she had a hysterectomy. The doctor had to take out one of her ovaries, which he was not planning on. The ovary was about the size of a fist, so it was sent to the lab to be checked for cancer, and came back positive. She was in the hospital for about a week, but it felt like a month. My dad and I went to visit her every day, and each day, she was doing better. The days dragged on knowing I was coming home to a silent, lifeless, and motherless home.

When the countless days finally came to an end, it still wasn’t the same. It was almost worst with my mom back. She was grumpy, miserable, and overwhelmed in pain, which made us all that way. None of us could stand being around each other. Coming home was then something I tried to avoid. It was like stepping into a hole of gloom that you couldn’t seem to get out of no matter what you did.

Now, I worry more than ever. So much has happened, what comes next? Something that will take her life? I go day by day wondering if there is something else my parents are hiding from me. At first, anger built up inside of me. I wouldn’t talk to my parents for days. When I came home from school, almost every day, I locked myself in my room and burst into tears. I cried myself to sleep every night, and woke up with burning, damp eyes. I tried to show them how furious I was with them, but they didn’t seem to understand. They thought they were protecting me by keeping this secret from me. Is that really what they were doing? Were they that oblivious to my feelings?

After thinking about it, I realized what I was doing was foolish. There I was upset that if my mom would’ve died, I would’ve missed time with her because they didn’t tell me about her situation, but then I was wasting time with her by ignoring her. She could die tomorrow in a car accident, and I would’ve regretted every single moment I ignored her. The more and more I thought about it, I realized I wasn’t angry. I was scared. Anything can happen to anyone at any moment. I feared the moment where they came out with another secret, telling me she was going to die. I was afraid I was going to lose my mother.

Tragedies happen all over the world and we don’t even know it. The only time we think about it is when it’s occurring in our own lives. We need to remember, anything can happen, and we can’t take our time with our loved ones for granted. We have to appreciate every moment we have with someone, and every moment we have on Earth. I now am so grateful for my mother, even when we don’t get along, or fight, but I’ve realized how special a human life is, and will no longer take it for granted. Now, all I can do is hope for the best, and pray she’ll be okay.




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