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Who Am I?

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Who am I? This question is asked by so many people all around the world. Part of our quest is to pursue who we really are and what we are doing. But what if that changes sometimes? What if who we are is more than one person? At certain points in our lives, are we changed to something else? Do we only have an allotted time before we are thrust into our lives as new versions of ourselves?

This is something that I have been pondering recently. Something about me is definitely different. My friends noticed it, and pointed it out. I noticed it too, but I couldn't put my finger on it. In fact, I still can't. This is a topic that is honestly terrifying me. I have no idea who I am. I remember who I was before, mostly, and I know that I changed, but how? What's different about me now? I didn't go through any life- changing experiences, or at least I didn't think I did. It's almost as if I've forgotten who I was before. I'm still me. I still have the same face, and the same body. I'm still the same old human being that I was before. And yet I'm not. Something has changed within me. Why? I have no clue, but it's possible that this has happened to other people as well.

I hope that I can find these people and ask them what was going on. It's more than just a character change. I'm literally a different person, just in the same skin. Is that even possible. It's as if a new person has moved in, and kicked out the old one, leaving no trace of him. I just don't know. Writing has been my out, and as I write, I remember bits of my old personality. And yet it seems like I'm meeting a new person, not recovering my old self. Is there anyone else out there that has felt the same way?

This is the most confused I've ever been. I'm terrified, and scared. I feel detached from myself. I'm concerned and very worried. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel so many different emotions coursing through me, mostly negative ones. I don't know who I am, or who I'm supposed to be. I have the urge to try and go back to my old self, and yet this is something that feels as if it's supposed to happen.

According to the theory of alternate universes, there is a me in every single one of them, and in each one, I'm a little bit different. There's a possibility that in one of them, I am even Batman. But in a more subtle way, it's as if I slipped through the barrier between these worlds, and now I have an alternate life.

I don't know if other people will like this new person that I've become, or if I'll even like my new self. I guess all I can do is wait out the storm and hope I'm left with something good at the end. Maybe somewhere in the wreckage of my old life, I'll find a new one. That doesn't mean I'm any less terrified. I have a feeling that life is planned out a certain way and things aren't usually as bad as they seem.

Maybe we do become different people at different stages in our lives. Then maybe we are supposed to learn the flaws of our previous selves to perfect the new ones. While this is a strange concept, I hope that this might help some other people going through the same thing, and might make the transition easier from one personality to the next.



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ZephyrPunk This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 29, 2012 at 3:12 pm
Hey dude, it's OK, you're growing up, that's all. I love how you used the theory of infinite universes like that, it's sort of like how I use it, only I use it subtly in poetry generally. :)
 
TARDISdriver replied...
Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:13 am
Wow. Thanks for commenting. Yeah, I'm pretty nerdy so I write things and the nerdfighter side of me come out of me fairly easily. It's just kinda the way I write things.
 
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