June 23, 2012, was just an ordinary day, or so we thought. It should have been the day most newlywed couples classify as the happiest day of their lives. The day that would harbor one of the most monumental tragedies of my existence started out just as any other day would. The day that the world lost a little bit of its light, it was the day my grandma died.

While attending our family reunion in northern Michigan, we had put on our swimsuits to go swimming in the pool because Saturday had started out as a bright, scorching, humid morning. Of course, the mood felt quite chaotic. We had a wedding to attend later that day. Dreading the outdoor ceremony in the agonizing heat of the June afternoon, we procrastinated the “getting ready” process.

As we prepared to swim, my grandma decided to take a nap. She didn’t feel well, so we reassured her that we would wake her up in time to get ready for the wedding. This turned into a big mistake. We should have never let her do it. Little did we know, that would be the last time we would speak to her.

About fifteen minutes later, we heard an eerie moaning sound coming from her suite. Walking into the room, my aunt discovered that my grandma was unconscious, not breathing, and basically lifeless. With little luck, numerous people worked diligently to resuscitate her. We all prayed for a miracle, knowing that it simply was not her time to go. This woman has eleven grandchildren; relentlessly, she loves them all unconditionally. She was a woman who was only sixty-seven-years-old; impressively, she was the one who has more energy than most forty-year-olds. She enjoyed taking senior pictures for her grandchildren, making cakes for their graduations, woodcarving, walking her dog daily, and most importantly, she loved life. ‘How could this happen? Is this really happening? Or is this a dream? How could God let this happen? It must not be real.’ These were some of the unending questions running through my mind.

Only thirty minutes before, she was laughing, joking, and most likely, drinking her usual red wine from one of her hand-painted glasses with the rest of the adults. It just didn’t make sense. None of this made sense. My mind just couldn’t grasp the reality of the situation. In shock, I was emotionless. I wasn’t crying, and I wasn’t panicking. Oddly, I felt an unnatural calming sensation. Although I knew what was happening, I’m sure I appeared completely oblivious to the entire situation, just standing back. I stood in the background, seeing it all as it was happening, but not close enough to hear. I watched as the rescue squad hooked up countless medical devices, trying to bring her back to us. Part of me wishes I were closer, simply so I could have heard what she sounded like one last time. However, I wasn’t. Now, I regret that. I was too busy, trying to figure out why this was happening. That was the big question. ‘Why? Why her? Why at this time? We are at a family reunion. We are supposed to be enjoying our time here. Why?’

Paramedics, policemen, family members, and a rescue squad all worked to save the woman we love dearly. Every one of the first responders did all they could, but it just wasn’t enough. They managed to start her heart back up momentarily; however, it was very weak. She was loaded her into the ambulance and rushed to the hospital. My aunt approached me and gave me a hug, saying, “Everything will be okay. She is a strong woman.” Yes, she is a strong woman; regardless, I still had my doubts. Chances of survival were slim to none; however, having a negative attitude wouldn’t help the situation. At the time, it seemed as if nothing would help. ‘Weak is better than nothing at all,’ I said to myself as they left. It was my attempt of casting away the harsh reality of the situation.

Not too much later, we received a phone call. It was exactly what we had been dreading. She was gone--gone from this world--gone to another place--gone forever. ‘Forever?’ My mind still couldn’t grasp this concept. ‘Really? I will never see her again? Never talk to her again? She won’t be here for my graduation? Wedding? What about my birthday? That is only two weeks away. How could she miss that?’

Then, it hit me. ‘This really is happening. This sucks. Who could let this happen?’ I was very upset with God. ‘If you are all powerful, almighty, in control of everything, then why wouldn’t you stop this from happening?’ For lack of a better, more accurate term, I was pissed off. I felt as if I were six feet under and as if a part of me had gone to heaven with her. I was coherent; however, I wasn’t, both at the same time. Physically, I was present; on the other hand, mentally, I wasn’t even close.

I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, so I wandered off to a bright green grassy area. At the time it seemed black, everything did. However, I know it wasn’t. That patch of grass cushioned me as I sat--as I sat and cried uncontrollably. It seemed like hours until an unfamiliar woman came to me, but having no recollection of time, I’m not sure how many minutes or hours really passed. Unaware of the situation, she became deeply concerned. I explained the situation with minimal detail, and she offered her condolences. As she departed, she gave me a hug and left me behind with a handful of fresh tissues.

Feeling a bit better, I decided to rejoin my family and figure out what we could do next. Obviously, everyone was still in a bit of a frenzy but less than before. We realized that panic would not make the situation go away, so we settled down and assessed the situation. We decided that we would go to the wedding later that night; emotional or not, we were going. It is what she would have wanted--that’s for certain.

At the wedding, we danced our hearts out in the moonlit meadow of my uncle’s backyard and cheered as they cut the cake and delicately placed their pieces in each other’s mouths. Most importantly, we cried sorrowful tears as we shared a cup in her memory.

As we settled in for the night, turned down the lights, and crawled into bed, it became blatantly obvious how fragile life is and how quickly events can turn for the worse, even in the midst of a bright occasion. Throughout my entire life, my grandmother has been teaching me lessons. “Brenna, hold your arm this way for this photograph.” “Brenna, place the seed this way in the ground.” “Brenna, don’t you ever let that boy bring you down.” The most important lesson in life she ever taught me was that no one should ever let a second go by without enjoying life. Four months later, she is still teaching me lessons to this day. The world may be a little bit dimmer without her light here, but her lessons will live on forever.

That was the day. The worst day of my life. The day when the sun went down at noon, and never fully rose again. The day of sorrow, mass chaos, confusion, and shock. The day was June 23, 2012. It was a day that will never be forgotten.